When A Man Loves A Woman
by LovemelikesnapelovedlilyALWAYS
Summary: After all that they have been through Olivia and Elliot finally admit their love to each other. where is this going to take them? how will this effect their job? their friends? their whole life will be flipped... please review!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is recognizable.

Chapter 1

Olivia Benson sat at her desk. She was going over the final paper work on the latest case. A 33 year old male found stabbed to death in a garbage can with no clothes on. It was the victims own daughter. He was molesting her for 12 years. She was now 17, and the jury thankfully took pity on her. She was the true victim.

After being on the Special Victims Unit as long as Detective Benson had nothing shocked her anymore.

Her partner was Detective Elliot Stabler. He was divorced with 5 children.

Olivia had no one.

She didn't have a boyfriend because she was too into work.

She took a deep sigh and signed the last paper and closed the file folder. She rubbed her face with both hands.

"Hey you ok?" a voice came from beside her. It was Detective John Munch. A fellow SVU detective.

"Yea," Olivia said looking up from her hands, "just a long day that's all."

"Do you need a ride home?"

"No I'm ok I'll take a cab."

"Are you sure?"

"Yea thanks anyway," she said with a fake smile.

"Ok have a goodnight. And get some sleep."

"I will Munch, goodnight."

* * *

As Detective Munch walked away Olivia grabbed her bag and jacket. She locked up all the drawers in her desk. And placed her keys in her pocket. Then she left the station.

The yellow taxi cab stopped in front of her apartment, she paid the cabby got out just as she did every other night.

As she was walking up the steps to the 3rd floor she was ready to just fall over right there in the hallway. She was exhausted.

She walked in the door to her apartment. She placed her keys in the bowl on the table beside the door, and shut the door behind her. She walked into the kitchen and placed her bag on the counter. She opened the refrigerator door and stood there a moment looking for something good to drink.

Finally she found a beer in the way back. After a day like she had today, she deserved it. She shut the door and cracked open the beer. She took her jacket off and walked over to the coat hook and hung it up.

She walked over to the couch and sat down, with one foot folded under her. She took her gun and badge and placed them on the table. She was home now. She was safe now. She was alone.

She just sat there thinking, thinking about all that she had seen on the job. All the murder. All the abuse. All the rape. All the abandonment. And the day that was going to come.

She loved her job. It kept her sane. Knowing that she was the one that helped so many get closure was comforting to her. Knowing that she made the world safer helped with the insomnia. Insomnia that ironically was caused buy the job too.

Olivia couldn't remember the last time she slept all night. Three o'clock was her normal bed time. Six o'clock her normal alarm.

She took a sip of the brew, that was now only a couple drinks from being gone. She looked at the clock. It was now midnight. She had been home now for two hours, and still was in her work clothes. With a deep sigh, she emptied the rest of her drink into her mouth.

She stood up and went into her room. She didn't bother to shut the door because she was there alone. She went to her dresser and pulled out a pair of boxers and a tank top. Then she walked back to her bed, placed the night clothes on the bed, and began to undress. She was striped to her bra and panties, when she happened to glance over to the full length mirror in the corner.

_Why doesn't any man want me? _She thought to herself. _How could anyone want me? After what that son of a bitch did to me. _

It was 5 years ago and she was undercover and was sexually assaulted. She was "an inmate" and a guard forced him self on her. It was a close call she wasn't raped but it was close enough. It still haunted her dreams. Every detail. And like 99% of rape, abused or assaulted women she blamed herself.

_I should have known better. I should have been able to stop him. I am a cop and he was just another asshole with control issues. How could I have let that happen? _

She took a deep breath and got dressed.

_Am I ever going to get over this? Of course I'm not. Just like I tell all the victims I come across, you will never be over it. The only thing you can do is live with it. _

Another deep inhale and exhale.

_Live with it._ She thought again._ Live with it. How does a person live with it? How do people on the streets that this happens to everyday live with it? How can I live with it?_

_**BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ**_

It was her door buzzer. She quickly went to the intercom and pressed the button.

"Who is it?"

"Its me Liv. Elliot." the voice said from the other side.

"Come on up," she said and pressed the button on the left of the button she was holding to talk.

A few moments later a knock came at the door.

Olivia opened the door to reveal her partner, Elliot Stabler.

"Hey," he said with a smile.

"Hey," she forced a fake smile.

"Can I come in?" he said looking around her and pointing in the apartment.

"Of course," she said allowing him to walk past her, closing the door behind him. "So whats this about?"

"Nothing I just wanted to come and see you. Make sure you are ok."

"Why wouldn't I be ok?"

"Liv I know what today is."

She looked at her feet. "You do?"

"Five years today isn't it?"

She nodded.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"No." she said and tears ran down her face.

"Do you want to talk?" After he embraced her in a hug.

"Yes," she said stepping back and wiping her tears.

Elliot and Olivia walked over and sat on the couch.

Olivia sat with her elbows on her knees and her head rested in her hands. She looked at Elliot and shifted her position. Now her right leg was bent up and her left leg was bent under it.

"I remember it like it was yesterday. Every detail. Down to the lighting and the smell of the room. I can remember everything. It plays over and over in my head everyday.

I walked over to some girls and asked what was going on. They said it was some kind of out break probably TB, they had quarantined D Block. Mathew Parker came to get me. 'Get up fish your coming with me' and he gabbed me by the arm. I told him that I couldn't, because I hadn't had my shot yet and he said 'you'll get one later. Maybe even 2 pricks.' And he tried to pull me up. I jerked away and then a couple of the girls and I started a ruckus about how we had the right to know what was going on. So he called for back-up. He told us all to sit down and I of course had to tell him 'no not till we knew what was going on'. So he forcefully handcuffed me." Tears were falling down her cheeks. "Then the riot squad came in and was hitting people and throwing them. Once they had everyone against the wall, Harris came out and he asked who started it. And of course I got blamed. So he said I had to go to the hole. That's when he led me to the basement. I told him that the hole was over in C Block, and asked what we were doing down there and he told me to 'shut up.' I apologized, I hoped that he would take me to the hole. He just said 'we are way past apologies now.' And he told me to just 'shut up and do as I'm told.' That's when I looked over and seen the bed."

Elliot's face was now reflecting pain and hurt.

"I asked him what he wanted and he said 'what every man wants' and he told me I was going to give it to him." She began to sob heavily. "That's when he grabbed my face, and he breathed all over my neck. Then he threw me on the bed. I told him to get off of me and he just laughed, that's when I started screaming. he picked me up and told me I might as well stop screaming no one can hear me. And he grabbed my face again." she wiped the tears with her hand. "I started begging him to 'please stop' I must have said it a million times. Then he forced his tongue in my mouth. I begged him again to 'please don't.' He threw me back on the bed, and took off his holster belt. He then picked me up again, and I started screaming. He pined me up against the wall with my back to him." She closed her eyes and tears continued to fall. "He started pushing him self against me. Rubbing and pushing. Then he un-cuffed me,"she opened her eyes and looked at the man sitting with her on the couch, "I immediately elbowed and then punched him. He fell to the floor. I ran. I hid in with some boxes and crates. He picked up his flashlight and followed me. As he was looking for me, he would take the flashlight and drag it across the bars to empty cells that were down there. Then he told me I have 2 choices I could either come out and make it up to him or he could tell them that I tried to escape and he had to use necessary force." She paused, sobbing. "And I would 'wind up dead.' He told me that the longer he would have to wait the harder it was going to be. Then he taunted me like we were playing a game he asked me if I wanted to play hide and seek. Then he was like 'ok when I find you you're it.' And he just kept flipping chairs and boxes. Then," she fought to continue, "then he found me... he pointed the flashlight at me and he said 'hello, guess whose ass is mine now.' So I pretended to give up I stood up with my hands up and told him he won. He said 'that's more like it.' And told me to come to him I said 'easy' and he took the flashlight and hit me in the stomach I yelled. And then the back of the knees. I fell to the ground and yelled again he said 'that's to let you know whose in charge.'" she paused because her words were hard to understand. She collected herself after a moment. "I elbowed him in the stomach and ran to the door. It was locked," she closed her eyes and sobbed, trying once again to collect her self, "it was locked so I started banging and yelling and banging some more trying to have anyone hear me anyone at all. All of a sudden I look behind me and he punched me. I fall to the ground. I begged no. And he hand cuffed both my hands above my head to the door. The whole time I said no, I begged, I cried, I told him to 'let go of me.' I screamed 'no' he told me to 'shut up.' that's when he unzipped his pants and pulled out..."she was now crying hysterically, "pulled out..." she couldn't get it her mouth to say the words through the tears, "pulled out his penis." She finally got out. "He said 'you bite me and your dead.' And he shoved it in my face. I turned my head so he grabbed the back of my head with his free hand and tried to force me on him. When that didn't work he used both hands I screamed no again. That's when Fin busted in."

They were both crying. Olivia was sobbing hysterically, but Elliot only had tears running from his eyes. Elliot didn't want to ask her anything, because he knew she just relived the most painful thing to ever happen to her.

"Liv, why didn't you tell me sooner?" He finally asked about 10 minutes of sobs and silence.

"Because Elliot, I was trying to protect you."

"From what that prick, Harris?"

"No, from yourself, from beating yourself up, and blaming yourself," she looked in his eyes, "I do enough of that for the both of us."

"Did you get counseling?"

"Yes I did. And it helped a lot. I'll never be over it El. I know that. It happened and I couldn't do anything about it. And I know that I will never be able to be in a real relationship again because of what has happened."

"You've had boyfriends."

"Yes I did but they only lasted until it went to get physical, then I cut it off. Every time I seen a man I would think of him trying to force me. My counselor says I have severe trust issues. And it will take someone a very long time to get over the block I have up to protect myself. And now I'm alone. And I have a feeling I will be for a long time." She wanted so bad to tell him what she was feeling._ I trust you, I love you._ She thought to herself. "I should have known better than to go there. I should have known better than to think I could handle it."

"Liv none of this is your fault." Elliot said putting his hand on her leg. "he was a sick sadistic bastard. He preyed on women because he had power. And there was nothing you could do. You fought back. You tried to save yourself. Liv we caught him. We saved not only hundreds from becoming rape victims but also murdered rape victims. And that's all because of you. You did it."

"But look at what I had to go through. I haven't had a man in my life that I can trust in five years. Five years." She began to sob heavily. "And I'm not sure that anyone would want me. I mean when things go to get physical with the men I have dated, I get self conscience."

"What do you have to be self conscience about? Liv you're beautiful. You are an amazing person and a wonderful cop. You are strong."

"Not strong enough."

There was a moment of silence.

"Olivia Benson you are the strongest person I have ever met." He said looking in her eyes. "You went through all that and still manage to go through the emotional distress that your job produces. You are amazing." He placed his hand on her cheek, and used his thumb to wipe a tear running down her face.

She leaned into his hand seeking comfort. She closed her eyes and sobbed.

"Olivia look at me," he whispered.

She opened her eyes.

He leaned in, "do you trust me?" He asked passionately, leaning closer.

"Yes," she said closing her eyes. His face was right in front of her.

"Open your eyes," he whispered again.

"Why?" she questioned also whispering.

"Because I don't want you to see him. I want you to see me."

She opened her eyes.

He placed his lips on hers passionately. She returned the kiss slowly opening her mouth allowing his tongue to enter. They fought for dominance at first, but finally, he submitted. She placed her arms around his neck, and shifted so her leg was no longer up, but down over her other leg that was still folded under her.

He placed his hands at her waste and pulled her closer. They were now wrapped in a hug, kissing with more passion than either ever has before.

They broke apart. She looked in his eyes. "Elliot I cant. I'm not ready."

"I understand. I would never ask you to do anything that you don't feel comfortable with." He said with a small smile.

She gave a small smile back, "I know. And I trust you to the fullest. I'm just not..."

He cut her off, "I know. And you don't have to explain yourself to me." He pecked her on her lips.

"Elliot," she addressed, "thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything you have done for me in the years that we have been partners. I don't think I have ever told you that."

"That's what you do for the people you love."

She was shocked, "you love me?" She knew there was chemistry between them but she never would have thought he loved her. That was a big weight off her shoulders. Now she wasn't the only one who felt this way.

"Of course I do," he said. "And not just as my partner, Liv. I love you. I have known you for a very long time. We have been through so much together, you have been there through everything. And I have wanted to tell you for a long time. I just never had the balls to. You are the one that I spent my life searching for. I was married for so long that it was more of a comfort thing. Not love. And Kathy knows that we fell out of love a long time ago. And when we first got the divorce she asked me if we had anything behind her back. I told her no. She looked me in the eyes and told me that she could tell I loved you. She could tell that I wanted to be with you and that it would make me happy. She thanked me for not acting on my feelings and hurting her and the kids. Then she said she could tell that you loved me. She said that she respected you for not splitting up a family. And trying to deny what was in your heart. But Liv, we don't have to pretend anymore. We can be happy. We can be where we both want to be. We can be with each other. And I want to be with you, Liv. I love you."

she smiled. This is just what she has wanted for too long now. She was so happy that she would remember this day for the rest of her life and not for what happened to her five years ago but what has happened to her just a moment ago. "Elliot, I love you with all my heart. And I want to be with you..." she trailed off.

"but..." he said.

"but what about the other love of my life? My job? Your job? They would fire us in a heart beat. And I cant risk that and neither can you. What would everyone think if we were fired because we were together."

"Didn't you hear what I just said? I love you, I don't give a damn what other people think." He leaned in and gave her another mind blowing kiss.

They broke apart and she looked at him with love in her eyes. "do you want to stay with me tonight?"

He looked confused, she had just said she wasn't ready to move any farther, and now she wanted him to stay the night with her. "are you sure?"

"yea I mean we can drive in together, save me cab fair." she smiled.

"ok ummm and what am I going to do about clothes?"

"El I have known you for too long I know you always keep an extra outfit in the car just in case anything happens to the ones you are wearing while on the job." she said with a smile.

"You just never know. We deal with blood and god only knows what else at work." he smiled back.

"You can have my bed and I'll sleep on the couch." she said with a smile, and stood up.

"No you can sleep in your bed. I'll sleep on the couch."

"No Elliot I haven't slept in my bed in a very long time you can take it and ill take the couch." she said with a bit of sternness in her voice.

"Why haven't you slept in your bed?" he asked confused.

"I just haven't." she said trying to avoid giving an answer.

"Liv," he pushed.

"I just haven't because I figure if I can be violated while I'm in the government's system then what is stopping someone from coming in and violating me here? In my home? In my bed? So I just feel safer being out here on the couch."

"Closer to the door." he stated. "So if anyone came in you would have time to prepare yourself. Liv, this is no way to live your life."

"Yea I know." she said looking at him in the eyes as he stood up.

"Well I'm going to be here tonight so what do you say you take the bed and I'll stay out here so that I can keep watch?"

"What if you slept in my bed and ill sleep on the couch."

"What if I slept in your bed and you slept with me?" he said with a raised eye brow.

"El I don't think I..." she started to say.

"Look I'll use a separate comforter and everything no funny business." he smiled.

"I think I can live with that." she smiled back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable. **

Olivia opened her eyes. She looked over at her partner. He was laying there in nothing but his black boxer briefs. He wasn't covered up. He was laying on his stomach with his arm around her torso.

Not that she minded. She had dreamed of this day. The day when they would wake up in each others arms. The day when she could without guilt love Elliot Stabler.

He fluttered his eyes at the sunlight coming through the window, and noticed her looking at him.

"What time is it?" he said with a smile.

She tried to move as less as possible, to look at her watch. She didn't want him to get up from the way he was. She wanted to stay like this forever. "Eight," she said looking back at him.

He rolled over on his back and stretched. Then rolled to his side and supported his head on his hand.

"So," she started, shifting so she was on her side facing him, propping her head up with her hand. "Why don't we call in today?"

"Yea cause the captain will let us both get away with that," he snickered.

"Elliot, we need to talk. We have a lot that is going on here, and if we don't talk now then we will never. And this is just a test, we have to choose, our jobs or each other."

He sat up. "I'll go in the bathroom so that when you call he wont hear me in the background and when I call he wont hear you."

She smiled. _He is serious about this_, she thought to herself.

He stood up and left the room as promised.

She picked up her phone and dialed the captains number.

_"Cragen"_ she heard on the other end.

"Captain I'm not going to be coming in today. I need to take a personal day."

_"I understand Olivia. Take as much time as you need. We will be here tomorrow when you come back."_

"Thanks cap." She said smiling. She was glad to have a captain that understood what she went through. He was like the father she never had. And she loved that they were so close.

_"Just call if you need anything, Liv... anything at all."_ he sounded as though he was being truly sincere.

"I will I promise." she said as she hung up the phone.

Just then Elliot walked back in the room.

"Well?" she said looking at him.

"Sick day, 24 hour flu." He said doing a jumping dive into the bed. "You?"

"Personal day." she said smiling at him. "You don't look sick," she said with a small giggle.

"Yea well you look very personal." He said tracing her arm with is finger.

It sent chills right up her spine. Everywhere he touched was on fire, she wanted him and she wanted him now. But she couldn't. She couldn't make any moves until after they talked. After they figured out where this was going to go.

"We need to talk, Elliot." She said regretting it as it was leaving her lips. She wanted to give in and let him take her at that moment, but knew that it wasn't going to solve anything.

He sighed heavily and sat up. "I know, Liv."

"I just don't know where to start."

"Why don't you start by telling me what is on your mind."

"You. You're always on my mind. The way you look, the way you smell, the way it feels when you touch me, and as of last night the way you taste," she smiled remembering the passion of the kisses they shared, "your always there. 24 hours a day seven days a week. And I cant get you out and I have no idea why. I love you. And I cant help but to think that this is too good to be true. I have waited so long and hid my feelings for so long that this has to be too good to be true."

"Liv, I'm right here." He said shifting to look her in the eyes. "And I'm not going anywhere. I have been trying to fight these feelings too. For the same reasons as you. But sometimes it doesn't work that way. I love you and you love me and the only thing that stopped me before is our jobs."

"Whats so different now?" She asked. Tears were falling from her eyes and running down her cheek.

"I realized that no matter how much I denied the feelings I had for you they were always going to be there."

She leaned in and gave him a warm passionate kiss. He parted his lips to allow her access to his mouth. Once again, they fought for dominance, once again, she won. She climbed on his lap, not once breaking the kiss. She straddled him while sitting on her knees. She grabbed his face to insure he couldn't pull back. He slid his hands under her shirt and traced his way up her back. He pulled her tighter and closer to him. His hands were busy rubbing her bare back.

She broke the kiss, and looked at him in the eyes. A moment passed and she took off her shirt revealing her olive skin, her tight abdomen and perfectly shaped breasts. Then she wrapped her arms around his neck. He began to kiss and nibble on her neck.

"Elliot," she said in a moaning breathy voice. "Elliot, promise me," she said rolling her head to the side, "promise me," she tried again.

"Anything baby," he said between suckles.

"Promise me that you wont hurt me."

He looked up at her, with understanding in his eyes. "Liv, I will never hurt you in anyway."

"I love you Elliot. And I know you would never intentionally hurt me but I..."She paused and looked down. "I cant help but think this is all too fast."

"Too fast? Liv, we have known each other for years."

"Elliot I am sitting on your lap half naked."

He snickered. And leaned back taking his hands behind him to support his weight. "If you want to stop Liv I will understand," he said, "just climb off and go on our own ways. But if you want me as much as I want you then just lets see where this leads."

"It just seems too easy," she said looking him the eyes.

"It is, you are the one making this hard."

She looked down at his boxers and noticed his nice sized erection and giggled.

"No pun intended." he snickered.

She laid on his chest. Only his arms supported them both.

She heard his heart beating. It was the best feeling in the world knowing that his heart only beat for her now.

She loved him she truly did. She knew that he loved her, but wasn't sure how they were going to make it. It scared her. Not just losing her job, that was frightening, but also the fact that she loved him so much. She never loved anyone as much as Elliot. And that is what terrified her the most.

She wanted to talk, but the words wouldn't leave her lips._ We cant do this El, I love you and you love me but this cant happen like this. We are partners we cant be lovers._

_ But really how different is your partner from your lover?_ She thought, not moving her head from his chest. _In both situations you trust the other person with your life. With your secrets. You protect them. You would die for them. You love them. How is that different from a lover?_

She sighed heavily. Still not wanting to raise up.

"Whats wrong?" he said knowing her too well.

"I was just thinking," she said.

"About?"

"If we are going to do this El, we need to have rules." She looked up at him.

"You make it sound like an affair."

"It is El, we are both cheating."

"On who?"

"Our jobs."

He took a deep breath. "Ok what are these rules?"

She looked him in the eyes. "You want to talk about this while I'm naked?"

"I like it when your naked."

"I bet you you do. Why don't we talk about this over breakfast?"

He gave a heavy sigh, "do you have to get dressed?" he said with a sly smirk.

"Yes at least I have to put a shirt back on." She said standing up.

"Why?" He whined like a five year old.

"What if someone came over?"

"Why would someone be coming over?"

"Elliot, every year I always get a visit from Casey. She is the one I called after everything happened and Fin knows he was there, and Don would probably send him. So there is a good chance someone would come over, and what would they say if I'm naked in the kitchen cooking you breakfast?"

"Good point," he said standing up and grabbing his pants and putting them on.

They just finished breakfast. Olivia slide her plate a little away to the middle of the table.

"Who knew stabler could cook?" She said with a smile.

"Only my kids and Kathy." He said smiling too. "So what are these rules?

She took a deep breath, "well I thought of a couple and I thought that maybe you could make a couple if needed, or add to the ones I came up with."

"Liv, your stalling."

She took another heavily sigh, "no more secrets, I don't want us to keep another secret from each other. Whether you tell me you hate me and never want to see me again I would rather know sooner than later."

"I swear I will never hate you baby."

She smiled, "and I don't want to keep us a secret either other than I.A.B. I think that we can trust the people we work with enough to let them know that we are together and Don is like a father to me, so he will help with I.A.B too."

"You know that letting the cat out of the bag means that there is a good chance that we will be caught right?"

"I don't care I want you, and everyone else, to know that I love you, and I don't care what they all think."

"I know you love me."

"And the last one I want to make sure that is clear is that we tell your family."

"The kids are going to be thrilled."

"I hope but I also want Kathy to know. I don't think its fair to keep this from them... any of them."

"I know and we wont."

"Good. Anything you want to add?"

"I think we should go to church."

"El, I don't go to church you know this."

"I know, but Liv religion is a huge part of who I am. And I want the other big part of my life to be there with me."

"I know baby but its just not me."

"Do you believe in God?"

"Elliot I don't think this is the time or place for that." She said grabbing her plate and his and taking them to the kitchen, that was connected to the dinning room and living room.

"Liv, this is the perfect time and place. I need to know where you stand."

"No Elliot how could I? You see all the evil that we see everyday, you see all the horrible things we see on the job. If there was a God how is it that happens? Why would he let those things happen? All the murder all the abuse all the rape how would any God let that happen? How could you think that there is a God that would let that happen to innocent women and children and even men for crying out loud. You answer that." She said placing the plates in the sink and turning to face him.

He was standing at the edge of the counter. "Liv, we make our choices we have to choose to go toward the path of the Lord. Its not God's fault. He put us here with free will. And with out free will we wouldn't love we wouldn't do anything. Just please for me one time just go one time for me."

"One time?" She said raising her eye brow.

"Yes and if you don't like it I will never ask you again."

"Ok, one time, but not until we are no longer living in sin." She said opening the refrigerator and grabbing the orange juice. She took a glass from the cabinet, and poured some orange juice in side.

He studied her, the love of his life. The woman that he waited for. He thought he loved Kathy. He thought he was doing the right thing when he married her. But then he realized that he didn't love her. He would never have been able to love her. Kathy wasn't his soul mate... Olivia was. Olivia was his world, his everything. The love of his life the woman that he wanted to spend the rest of his life loving and taking care of. She started to take a sip from her glass.

"So I have to marry you?" He asked calmly.

She spit her orange juice across the room.

"Is that a no?"

"Well since you put it so romantic." She said with sarcasm, wiping her mouth with her hand.

"I mean it, Liv," he said still too calm.

"Elliot, we are just now talking about getting together in a relationship, let alone married. This all way too fast El, I love you but.."

He cut her off, "if you love me then there is no buts."

"Yes there are I'm not the marrying type El."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not. I'm most certainly not the woman you want to marry."

"Yes you are, and I don't want to scare you Olivia, but this will happen. I will have you as my wife, you are going to be Mrs. Elliot stabler." He now had his hands on her waist.

"Is that what you think?" She said with a teasing smile.

"That's what I know." He said kissing her lips.

"Oh yea."

"Yea," he whispered and kissed her again.

"And how do you plan to do that?" She kissed him again.

"First I will woo you with my charm." He began to kiss a trail down to her neck.

"Oh yea?" She said tilting her head to the side.

"And then I will make you fall in love with me all over again." He said moving the collar of her shirt to the side to kiss her shoulder.

"And then?"

"And then, when you least expect it, I will pop the big question." He said and removed her shirt over her head.

"And what makes you think I will say yes?"

He was now kissing her chest. "I would be completely irresistible." she said taking her perfectly shaped breast and suckling it.

"Why Mr. Stabler you sound very sure of yourself."

"That's because I'm so good." He said moving to the other breast.

"You want to move this party to the bed room?" She said running her fingers through his hair.

"Have you ever done it in the kitchen?" He said kissing her stomach and playing with the waist line of her pants.

"No I cant say that I have."

"Well there's a first time for everything." He pulled her pants and panties down at the same time. She stepped out of them. He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He held her with one arm and unbuttoned his pants with the other. Then he shimmied them down, revealing his rock hard member. He sat her on the counter and began kissing her as he entered her warm center.

It was like fireworks had went off. She broke the kiss and flew her head back. She bit her lip to keep from screaming. This is what she had been dreaming about since the day she met him.

He slowly began to move in and out of her. With every thrust he could hear a muffled moan. He began to suckle her neck, never breaking rhythm.

Then her head shot up. "Oh my god, El"

"What baby," he said still working the magic of his long shaft.

"El, what about protection." She said trying to ignore the immense amount of pleasure she was getting.

He slowed down to almost a stop but never exiting her core. "Baby I'm Catholic we don't believe in protection."

"But I do El."

He gave a hard thrust and kissed her on the lips.

"Oh my...Fuck it" She said throwing her head back in pleasure.

"Is that what you want baby?"

"Yes Oh God Yes"

He began to thrust harder and faster.

She was about to lose it. She had never felt like this before. She had never 'made love'.

"Oh baby, right there." She said wrapping her arms around his neck.

She usually never had an orgasm this fast. But then again it had been five years. And she had never felt for any man the way she felt for Elliot.

"Baby, do you want me to pull out?" He said kissing her neck.

"No." is all she could get out when she felt a rush of pure pleasure rush from her head to her toes. This was it she was about to cum. She curled her toes. And moaned in pleasure.

"Oh baby, don't cum yet." He said.

"I cant hold it baby." She said in a grunt trying to hold out the orgasm.

"Come on baby, you can do it."

"Oh Elliot. Oh my god. Yes. Yes. Yes!" she said in a loud voice that was almost a scream.

"Come on baby, just a couple more minutes." He said moving faster and faster.

"Elliot, I cant hold on much longer."

She was about to explode she was at her climax and didn't want to release. She wanted to hold on the the pleasure he gave her forever. She was about to have no choice. He continued to thrust, but now he was thrusting in a circular motion. She wanted to scream in out due to the amount of pleasure she was holding in. She leaned down and bit his shoulder to muffle the scream she let out.

"Baby, I'm about to cum." He said in a whisper.

Then it happened simultaneously, her release came and so did his. She collapsed in his arms, and he wrapped her in a warm tight hug. Still not exiting her.

"I...Love...I...Love...You..." She said panting and kissing his neck.

"I...Love...You...Too...Baby," he said panting.

"That was...Incredible..." she panted.

"You...Are...Incredible," he panted.

"I...Think we...Should get dressed..."She tried to steady her breathing.

"Yea me too," he said still panting but not as bad. "But, just because I think we should, doesn't mean I want to." He added.

"Baby, we have to, I told you I get company randomly throughout the day." She said, she wasn't panting but her heart rate was still through the roof.

He backed away from her and pulled up his pants, and buttoned them.

She jumped down and grabbed her clothes. She felt like she was floating. Her knees were weak, her body was numb. She was in total bliss. She started walking toward her bedroom.

He followed.

"I think that we should have dinner tonight, here, and tell everyone what we are, and how we feel." He said stopping at the doorway to her room and leaning to the side.

"You don't think that's all a little fast?"

"No baby, because I want to scream it to the world." He said coming in to the room where she was looking in the dresser for clothing. He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. "I cant hold it in I'll burst."

"You think so?" She said pulling out a pair of jeans. And then, leaving his arms to go to the closet to pick out a shirt.

"I know I will Liv," he said with desperation in his voice.

"Ok fine we will have dinner here tonight. Call the captain and Fin and Munch and I'll call Casey and Alex and Kim."

"Yea that's a good idea, if we are going to get in trouble with Tucker, why not have the three best lawyers on our side?"

"I wasn't calling them for that I was calling them because they are my friends." She said grabbing a black tee-shirt out of the closet and throwing the hanger on her bed.

"Oh, of course, I knew that."

"Now, if you don't mind I would like to take a shower." She said with a teasing smile.

"Oh, but on the contrary, not only do I not mind, but I think I might join you." He said as she tried to run from him. He ran and smacked her toned bottom.

She giggled and ran faster to the bathroom, he followed and shut the door.

**A/N: so I love that so many people are reading this story but you know what I would love more? Reviews. That would be pretty awesome if I check this and I have more than 2 or 3... thanks for reading... next chapter is already being worked on so it should be posted soon :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything recognizable!**

**A/N: thank you so much for the reviews... I'm lovin every bit of them! Please keep 'em comin'!**

Olivia was nervous about telling everyone about her and Elliot. She felt that although her feelings were never going to go away that they were moving too fast. She felt there was going to be plenty of time for all the details later. All she wanted was the man sitting next to her. As she looked at the man across from her, in whom she considered her father, she realized that although she had spent most of her life alone that she had a family. _This is my family, _she thought. There's_ my Daddy Don, Uncle Munch, Brother Fin and my wonderful sisters. I am so lucky,_ she looked at each of them and smiled.

As they all finished up the lovely dinner Elliot cooked, Olivia cleared the table and brought everyone another round of beer. Except Don, he got a soda, he was a recovering alcoholic.

After everyone had their drink, Elliot stood up.

"After a long and tiring divorce, and a much needed free single life I, Elliot Stabler, have fallen in love." He said with a smile and placed his hand over his chest.

"Who's the unfortunate woman," Munch added and everyone laughed.

"Yea Stabler who is she?" Fin commented.

"Well, we thought it would be obvious." He said with a smile.

Everyone's faces looked confused.

Then it hit them all at once.

Olivia!

"Are you telling me that you two are together now?" Don leaned in to talk to Olivia only.

Olivia stood up and wrapped one hand around Elliot's back. "That's right, we have finally after all these years of knowing we were in love and trying to hide it decided that we shouldn't fight something we cant win."

"wow Baby-Girl I never thought you to go for someone like Stabler." Fin said taking a drink of his brew.

"What about I.A.B?" don asked.

"Well we thought we could trust you guys captain." Elliot answered.

"If I.A.B finds out then they will have all our asses Elliot."

"If I.A.B finds out it will be completely on us we will take full responsibility. We just thought that since it made us happy that we would share it with you, because you are a part of our lives." Olivia said, "you all are the closest I have ever had to a family and I want to share the one thing in life that has made me happy with the people I care about," she placed her other hand on Elliot's stomach in a half side way hug, and he place his arm around her.

"Well Liv, I have to say that, I for one am very happy for you," Casey slurred. She was working on her 4th drink since she got there.

"Thank you Casey," Olivia smiled.

Don still didn't look satisfied.

"Look captain, we know that this breaks every rule in the book but we have been fighting our feelings for a long time. And now we both realize that it doesn't matter. We cant stop loving each other just because some guy made a rule that says that we shouldn't. Just because we deny it, doesn't mean it will go away. Trust me I tried." Olivia said.

Don stood up, he walked over to Olivia. She untangled herself from Elliot and held the captains hands. "Are you sure this is what you want? Because if it is there is no turning back. Once its done its done. There will be nothing that I.A.B can do to make me talk but you realize the risks of going public right?" He looked protective. She knew that he only wanted what was best for her, and he also knew that was Elliot.

"We do," she said looking her 'father' in the eyes, "but its worth it. We love each other and there is nothing that is going to change that. Don I tried for years to not have feelings for him. And every time I would think I was getting closer to letting those feelings go they would come back and kick my ass and I realized that no matter what they are always going to be there. So I lived with that. I know that if I.A.B found out we would be handing our badges over, but I don't care. Captain what would you do if someone told you you couldn't love your wife that you couldn't be together due to some stupid rule. That the one person you loved more than anyone, you couldn't be with them, but you had to see them everyday. And you had to work together, but you could never be with them because of a stupid rule?" She said with a tear running down her face.

"I would tell them to shove it up their ass." He wiping the tear away from her cheek.

Olivia turned to the rest of the group, "none of you have to worry about getting in trouble. If Tucker finds out anything, we will tell him that none of you knew and that none of you had any part in this," she took her hand from don and wrapped went back to the half hug with Elliot. "I love you guys, you are the closest thing I have ever had to a family. I have my Daddy Don," she said looking at him, "Uncle Munch," she said looking at him, "and my big Brother Fin." she said smiling at him. "and of course there are my wonderful sisters," she said looking at Alex, Kim, and Casey.

"And that's how we became the Brady Bunch." Casey sang.

Everyone laughed, "how many has she had?" Munch asked still giggling.

"I have no idea, but I think its time to cut her off," fin said taking her mix drink from her.

"Where did she get vodka the last I knew you only had beer," Elliot said looking at Olivia with out pulling apart.

"I do I mean I have orange juice but no vodka."

"I think she brought it herself," Alex said pulling out a bottle of Grey Goose vodka out of Casey's purse.

"Gimme that," fin said taking the bottle from Alex and studying it. "this is half gone and it was bought today."

"How can you tell it was bought today?" Kim asked joining the conversation.

"The seal at the top was just broken it is still clean and ain't ripped all the way off yet. She tried to open it in a hurry so that no one would know."

"Why are you all talking about me like I'm not here?" She said.

"Casey why did you bring that big ass bottle of vodka?" Olivia said with a slight giggle.

"You are the one that said we were going to have a couple drinks."

"Well what are you waiting for shot glasses are in the cabinet." Olivia said with a smile.

"Now that's what I'm talking about," Alex said rubbing her hands together.

"You don't mind do you cap? I mean you are my guest and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable." Olivia said looking at Don.

"No I know what I did and now I have to face that I cant do it again, it makes me stronger, seeing you all act like buffoons. Reminds me why I'm glad I quit." He replied with a chuckle.

Olivia smiled. Fin was the one that got up and got the shot glasses. Once he got back to the table with six shot glasses, and handed them out to everyone except Casey.

"What about me?" she said.

"Case I think you have had enough already." Fin replied now filling the shot glasses.

Once everyone had their glasses filled, Olivia raised hers, "to me and Elliot."

Everyone followed and drank their shot.

Kim shuddered, "whew that's what I'm talking about hit me," she said handing fin her glass.

Once another round was passed out Olivia once again raised her glass, "to you, my wonderful family."

Once again everyone followed and drank their shot.

Six shots and two more beers later everyone called cabs and left. Leaving Elliot and Olivia alone in her apartment. As the last of their guests left, Elliot shut the door and turned to the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her. "That went well," he said kissing her forehead.

"Yes it did. They all took it well I think." she said closing her eyes.

"Liv, I want you," he whispered in her ear.

She made a soft moan. "I want you too," she whispered back.

"I love you Olivia," he pressed his lips to hers.

She wanted to be passive, she wanted him to know that she was in the palm of his hands. For once in her life she wanted to be powerless.

"I love you Elliot," she said after they broke apart.

He began to kiss her neck.

"El, I think we should go into the bedroom."

He broke away from her neck and began to kiss her and lead her into the bedroom. Never once unlocking their lips. She was walking backwards.

When they reached the bedroom, Olivia started to unbutton Elliot's shirt. Once it was unbuttoned she slid it off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. He broke the kiss long enough to take her shirt off, and threw it on the floor. He then began to kiss her again. She fumbled with his belt, and unbuttoned his pants. He did the same.

She then spun him around and pushed him onto the bed. She slid out of her pants and began to crawl on the bed, still in her bra and panties. He pulled his pants and boxers off. She crawled on top of him and pressed her lips to his. He opened his mouth to allow her access. She slipped her tongue in his mouth.

Earlier she wanted to be passive, but once they entered the bedroom that all changed. She had waited a long time for Elliot and now that she had him she wasn't showing any mercy.

He quickly wrapped his arms around her and unsnapped her bra. Then pulled it off of her and tossed it to the side.

She took her hand and trailed her way to his raging erection. Taking his manhood in hand, she gripped and began to move her hand up and down. She moved faster and faster. Then once she knew he was completely ready, she removed her hand and slid her panties off. She broke the kiss and positioned herself on top of him.

As he entered her they both let out a soft moan.

She moved slow at first. Although she was far from a virgin, she still felt like one after five years. She was sore, and it hurt just like the first time.

Soon she was gliding faster. She began to relax. It was all becoming more comfortable. She moved faster and faster.

Elliot cupped her breasts with his hands and began massaging them. Then he moved his focus to her hard nipples. She let out a moan and licked her lips, biting her bottom lip as her tongue made its way back in her mouth. As he teased her nipples, she began riding him faster. And he started to thrust his hips, filling her with all he had.

Then all of a sudden he flipped her over, never exiting her. And began to thrust. With every thrust came a moan.

"Faster," she said breathlessly.

And so he did, and with speed came force. And with force came louder moans. They were almost a pleasured scream.

"Oh my god, Elliot," she screamed. "Don't stop! Don't stop! Right there!"

"Is that it baby right there?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh my god."

And he went harder.

He then pulled completely out and slammed back in to her.

In and out. In and out. In and out.

With every deeper, harder, powerful thrust came a scream of pure pleasure. She had never felt like this. Even before the assault she never had this much pleasure. She was in fact making love. Rough love but it was love none the less.

"Oh my god, Elliot. Oh my god."

She felt a rush of pleasure run through her entire body. From her head to her toes. It caused her to arch her back and curl her toes.

He felt her about to release and wanted to go with her so he pumped harder and faster and deeper than before.

That sent her over the edge, she was about to cum, and so was he.

Faster, harder, deeper. Faster, harder, deeper. Faster, harder, deeper.

Then all at once with a rush of complete pleasure he spilled his seed in her as she released.

He collapsed on top of her. They were both panting like they had just ran a marathon. He kissed her passionately.

After they pulled from the kiss, he rolled off of her. She rested her head on him and they cuddled.

"Elliot," she said breaking the silence still panting, "that was...amazing"

"You... were... amazing," he said kissing the top of her head.

"I love you," she said. She had managed to steady her breathing but her heart was about to burst out of her chest. His breathing was also regulating.

"I love you too."

"You have no idea how good it feels to be able to say that."

"I think I might have a clue."

"El why did you it so long to tell me?"

"Because I knew that it would be to fast for you. I knew that you were still in that basement and I didn't want to traumatize you more."

"If you knew what happened in the basement why did you make me tell you?"

"Because I didn't want to push you baby, I wanted you to tell me when you were ready to talk about it."

"Thank you," she said a single tear running down her face.

"I'm always here for you baby. Always have and always will be."

"I know," she said a smile tracing her lips. "elliot Stabler I have to say that was the most intense sex I have ever had." She added blushing.

"Yea it was," he sighed, "very intense."

They laid in silence.

Olivia thought of everything they had been through. Everything they felt for each other. She had never loved someone in her whole life. She couldn't live life without him.

"El I want to be with you forever." She whispered after about 20 minutes of silence.

He shifted to see her a little better, she raised up and looked him in the eyes.

"Elliot Stabler will you marry me?"

_**BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ...BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ...BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ...**_

Both of their cell phones went off. Each grabbing the respected cell phones from the night stand beside the bed answered with the announcement of their last names.

"I see, yes we will be there shortly," Olivia spat in to her phone.

"On my way," Elliot said into his.

"What time is it?" She said looking at the clock. "3:37,"she answered her own question.

"We have to go," she said pretending the proposal, that just occurred not even 5 minutes ago, never happened.

They both got up and got dressed.

They left the house and rode in the car to the crime scene in silence.

**A/N: let me start of by saying that I'm sorry this chapter is a little shorter than the others, longer ones will come. And let me go on to say OMG OMG OMG! I really wasn't wanting the big question to come out so soon but it just kind of led there. I couldn't help but to snatch the perfect opportunity. But with the interruption will that let her pretend it was never said? Will she ask again? Will he ask? What will he say? What will she say? I'm so excited I love this story! I hope you do too! Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything recognizable! A/N: So I know that it has been a long time since the last update... I hope you can forgive me... as a peace offering I give you this super long chapter.**

When they arrived at the scene, Olivia got out of the car and walked over to the last person she expected to see. Melinda, the medical examiner. She was also one of Olivia's closest friends. The reason that she didn't invite her to the little get together they had, was she was supposed to be out of town with her family and no way of getting a hold of her.

Olivia immediately walked over and hugged her. "Later we need to talk." she said pulling away from her. "what are you doing back here? I thought you were going to be gone until like Thursday."

"Well we had to come back the old man got the flu can't stay too far from home with him sick," she laughed.

"So what is going on here?" Olivia said nodding towards the taped area.

"Little girl about 9 blunt force trauma to the head."

"Any signs of sexual assault?" Elliot said walking up behind Olivia.

"Well there were no bruises but there was one thing that may suggest it."

"What's that?" Olivia asked.

"The victim wasn't wearing any panties."

"Anything else?"

"Well so far we have pulled a couple fibers off her skirt and a hair from her face." Melinda answered.

"Could you tell if it was pubic hair?" Elliot asked writing in his notebook.

"Maybe. It didn't look like it but we cant rule anything out. I think it is possibly facial hair. But I'll know more when I get it all to the lab." She said walking away.

Elliot flipped his notebook closed and placed the pen and pad back in his inside jacket pocket. He leaned down to the body of a little blonde girl. His heart broke. She was still a baby. Who could do this to a child? All children are innocent. And none of them deserve to die. "Who could do this Liv?" He asked out loud.

* * *

She knew it was a rhetorical question. She placed her had on his shoulder. She knew that he always got too attached when it came to children, he did have five himself. He always put himself in the position of the parent who we had to tell that their baby, was gone forever.

Back at the precinct everyone sat at their respected desks. They were busy doing paper work. It was now around 9:00 am. And they still hadn't heard from the lab. And they still hadn't heard from missing persons. It was as if this was a dead case already.

Olivia was getting antsy, she wanted to talk to Melinda. She wanted to be able to tell her what she had told the others. And she wanted to tell her about the possible mistake she made when she purposed to Elliot.

She loved Elliot, and she would love to spend her life with him but they just started being a couple. This was all moving too fast.

_Maybe he forgot about it,_ she thought to herself, _yea fat chance that's going to happen._ She placed both her elbows on top of her desk. She then placed her face in her hands.

"You ok?" Elliot asked looking up at her.

She gave a heavy sigh. "Yea I'm good. I think I'm going to go see what Melinda has so far." she said getting up from her desk.

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No I think I got it." She said walking away.

* * *

He just sat there puzzled.

She walked in to the examination room where Melinda was standing over the body of the little girl they found in the wooded area of central park earlier that morning.

"What do you have so far?" Olivia asked.

"Well she was raped, by a male we found semen but it was like the perp tried to clean her out. We didn't find anything until we did the rape kit. The fiber we found was from a carpet that is only found in a vehicle. Probably got there when the perp took her to the park. She wasn't dead when she got there she was just unconscious. But because she was hit in the head she had internal bleeding died about 15 min after she was dumped. The hair we found was male. It was a mustache hair. Not pubic." Melinda noticed that Olivia was starring out into space. "Liv," she said waving her hand in front of Olivia's face. "Earth to Olivia."

"Yea," Liv said snapping back to reality. "sorry, I don't know where I was." she said with a heavy sigh.

"What's going on?"

"Too much." she answered looking down at her feet.

"Look I know this case is intense but Liv this is nothing you haven't dealt with before." Melinda said looking concerned.

"It's not that I mean the case is tragic but I have a lot of other stuff on my mind. that's what I came down here for. I think I'm engaged."

Melinda's eyes grew big. "What are you talking about I didn't even know you were seeing someone. I was only gone a week."

"It just kind of happened. We just started talking and we slept together and I just kind of got lost in the moment and asked him to be my husband."

Melinda seen something in Olivia's eyes that she had seen before but only when they would talk about one person. "It's Elliot, isn't it?" she said in a low confident voice.

All Olivia could do was nod her head.

"How did this happen Olivia?"

Olivia sat in a chair that was right beside Melinda. She rested her elbows on her knees, put her face in her hands and took a deep breath. Then she looked up at Melinda. "i don't know. Its all going so quick. I really can't gather it all together."

"Why don't you start from the beginning?"

"Well he came over to my apartment the other night and I told him about what happened with Harris. And I was crying and he was crying and he told me he loved me and then the next thing I know we were lying in bed last night and I asked him to marry me."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing yet," she said with a sigh. "our phones rang with the case before he could answer."

"Wow," Melinda said, taking a deep breath herself, trying to take in what Olivia said.

"I know."

"Did you want to ask? Or was it just a heat of the moment type thing?"

"I don't know a part of me wanted to ask. But another part was screaming run as far away as you can."

"But you didn't run."

"I love him, I just... I know this is all way too fast but I don't know how to slow it down. It's like a car with no breaks, and I have a feeling that at the speed we are going we are going to crash. Soon. And I don't want that to happen. I have never loved anyone more than this man and if it don't work out I don't think that I could survive."

"Olivia how did you let it get like this?" Melinda asked worried.

"What do you mean?"

"How did you fall in love so far that there is no turning back? I mean I know you have always loved him but Olivia this is just a lot all at once."

"Mel, I have been asking myself that same question for 2 days. I know this is a lot I know I feel like I'm suffocating but I love him so much that I can't help but to stay. I crave more and the more I crave the farther it goes and the farther it goes the more I feel like I'm suffocating and I don't know how to stop it. I don't want to lose him; I have waited so long that I can't lose him now. I have to have him and now that I do, I can't help but to want him all the time. This is the worst feeling in the world. And the best at the same time." she was now crying, tears were running down both of her cheeks. "How do you tell the person you love so much you would literally die for that you are being suffocated?"

Melinda bent down to meet Olivia in the eyes, "you are over whelmed that's ok this is going to fast and that's ok. You just have to tell him that you love him. That you want to be with him but you have to slow down or you are going to have a complete breakdown."

"It's not that kind of feeling though. It's more of like we just jumped off a cliff and we are falling and falling and the ground is coming up and we still haven't pulled the parachute yet."

"I know and that's what you need to tell him. If you don't you are going to get to the point where you are going to run and then you will regret the whole thing you are going to live your life regretting something that you want more than anything. Olivia you have been given a chance at happiness, true happiness. And that is something that not many people get to experience at all in their life. You need to tell him how you feel or you are going to end up sad and lonely. Again. And that is something that no one wants to see. We all can see that you are happy and that you are in love. You are just scared Olivia. And that is normal but if you are going to be happy in life you have to communicate. Whether it be with a friend, a partner, or a lover all relationships need communication. And if you love him and want to be happy with him like we all know you do then you need to talk to him. You need to tell him what you are feeling. I can't stress that enough."

Just then Elliot walked in the examination room. He saw Olivia crying and walked over to her and knelt down. "What's wrong?" he said holding her hand in both of his.

"Nothing, nothing that we can talk about right now. We have to work. Have you got anything about an I.D?" she said wiping her eyes.

"a couple called in with a missing child she fit the description. They are on their way down here now." he said standing back up.

Olivia stood from the chair and walked out of the room. Leaving Elliot behind.

"Mel what's wrong."

"She is scared Elliot. She loves you so much that it scares her and she don't know how to deal with it." Melinda standing to look at Elliot. "she needs you to talk to her. She needs you to tell her that it doesn't have to go this fast and that you aren't going to be upset if she wants to slow things down."

"She is the one that purposed. She is the one that asked me. How am I the one that is moving too fast?"

"Elliot she wants to marry you and she wants to be with you forever but she is overwhelmed. But really you need to talk to her. She is the one that needs to get this off her chest. Just know that she loves you and that she doesn't want to lose you."

"She would never lose me ever. Not even if she tried." he turned and walked away.

* * *

"That-a-boy," Melinda said to herself.

Olivia was sitting in the interrogation room with a pretty blonde woman. She had just handed the woman a tissue and a cup of coffee.

"Mrs. Colt I'm so sorry for your loss. And I'm really sorry we have to do this but there are a couple things we have to go over. That would help us with your daughters case." Olivia said flipping the cover of her note book.

"Why can't Shawn be here with me? Is he in trouble?" the woman asked crying.

"No, no one is in trouble at this point we are following procedure, ma'am. Now why don't we start with what happen yesterday evening?"

"Well I got home about 3:30. Piper just got off the bus. I paid the babysitter."

"I'm going to need her name and address."

"Umm," Mrs. Colt said wiping her eyes. "Becky Simon, she lives next door. She's 15. We thought it would be good for her to make a little extra cash."

Olivia wrote down the information. "Ok what happened next?"

"Umm... I yelled at Piper for leaving her book bag in the middle of the floor. It was her last day of school and she was excited. I shouldn't have yelled at her. I even told her that if there was one more time I had to tell her to do something that was in her routine that she would be grounded. I shouldn't have gotten mad it was just her book bag." Mrs. Colt began to sob.

"Mrs. Colt," Olivia began.

"Samantha, call me Samantha." she said wiping her tears.

"Samantha," Olivia said as she took the woman's hand in her own. "I know that this is a very difficult time and I know that there is no way I could know the pain you are going through," Olivia said with a slight tear in her eye that she wouldn't let fall.

Samantha just wiped her tears away again.

"But the more that we know the better chance we have of finding the sick bastard that did this."

"She took her book bag to her room. And I started dinner. My friend Steven came over. Dinner was done about 5:30. Shawn came home about five minutes after dinner was done. Steven left. He and Shawn never got along. Shawn couldn't understand how Steven could be gay. He was somewhat of a prick about it. We ate dinner and went to the park. We left the park about 8:00. Piper went straight upstairs and took a shower. I made popcorn and we watched her favorite movie. The little mermaid. She loved the little mermaid. The movie went off about 10:15, Shawn carried Piper upstairs she always missed the end of Friday movie night. I followed him up we gave her a night kiss and hug and then about 10:30 I got a call from work saying they needed me asap. A case just came in. Shawn started yelling about how I am always working and never see him or Piper. He said that he was tired of raising her by his self. He said he wanted a divorced." she explained squeezing Olivia's hand and sobbing.

"How were things in the beginning?" Olivia asked.

"Perfect Piper and I moved here when she was three. I met Shawn six months later and six months after that we were married."

"So Shawn isn't pipers father?" Olivia said furrowing her brow.

"No we were getting it so he could adopt her. But with all of his history even my connections we couldn't make it happen the way we wanted. He loved her she was his daughter. He fell in love with her the moment they met. And she was just ga ga over him. She started calling him daddy so the only thing we had left was for him to adopt her."

"You said something about his past?"

"Shawn started using drugs and alcohol at a young age. He started using when he was 12. and he didn't get clean until he went to foster care when he was 16. He had changed and he was making it stick. He has been clean and sober for 15 years. He now owns his own business and has truly cleaned up his act." Samantha said sniffling.

"That's wonderful. When did things change in your marriage?"

"About 3 months ago I had picked up extra work. I had the chance to make partner. And of course I started taking more and more cases. And he felt more and more neglected. And I know Piper did too. But I had no choice. I had to do it I had to get partner."

"Did you?"

"Yes. Three days ago. Shawn and Piper even threw me a party two days ago." she gave a forced chuckle. "They invited all the people from the firm and everything. It was wonderful."

"Who is Piper's real father?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know."

Olivia looked confused.

Samantha picked up on the confusion, "I was raped."

Olivia's expression changed immediately. This perfect child was like her. _No, _she thought,_ her mother loved her. My mother just drank. She had a wonderful life. She was a happy child. She was extremely lucky to have a mother who loved her no matter what. Her mother__ knew that even though she was the product of the worst thing that could have ever have happened to her, she was still her child. She was still a part of her. She was still a child. And she was lucky enough to not be reminded of what her mother went throug__h to bring her in this world. This little girl was truly blessed and someone took that from her._

"I was at a party I had just passed the bar exam. I was already drunk. I don't even remember half the night. I met this guy at the bar when I went to order what seemed like the 100th round of shots for me and my friends. I remember him saying he would buy me a shot as a congratulations I said great and after that I don't remember anything, I woke up in the hospital the next morning and they told me I was date raped the shot the guy brought me had a roofy in it. And since I was so drunk and I was drugged I still to this day can't even remember what the guy looked like or even the name he gave me." she looked down, "I had Piper 9 months later."

"You are very strong." that's all Olivia could say. "It must have been hard, knowing that you got pregnant due to a rape."

"It was but I knew that she was a part of me a part of good. And I was going to love her no matter what. She was my baby. My only baby. And no matter how she became that way she was still mine. And nothing was going to change that. It wasn't her fault that bastard did what he did."

"Did Shawn know?"

"Yes, he knew and that made him cling even tighter to her he said that she needed a father and he was going to make sure that she never went without. And he did. She always had everything she needed. And she never wanted for anything."

"What about his family? Did they except her the way he did?"

"He hasn't talked to his father since he went into foster care. His father beat him. And his brother and mother as well. Only one that was treated half way decent was his sister and that's because she was the baby. She was like gold. A princess in the eyes of _'daddy'_. But his mother loved Piper and so did his brother and sister. That's what doesn't make sense detective; everyone who met Piper loved her."

"You said you had a party a couple of days ago. Was there anyone there that was acting funny or that was alone with Piper?"

"No everyone there was all people I know and care about and there was no one that was out of sorts. They were all acting normal."

"I'm going to need a list of all the people that were there. So that when the other detectives get back from the search of your home we can exonerate all the finger prints found. And isolate any that don't belong."

Samantha nodded her head. She began to sob again. "who would do this." she said through more heavy sobs, "why would someone hurt my baby? How could someone do this to a child? My child? Don't they know who I am? don't they know what I can do? What I can make happen to them?"

"Look at me Samantha," Olivia said. "there is nothing that you can do until we find out who did this. I'm going to need you to think, think hard about if there is anything you can think of that we need to know." Olivia said as Samantha looked her in the eyes. "Dig deep dig as deep as you think you need to that can help me get the monster that did this." a single tear ran down Olivia's cheek. "please." she begged.

"Detective," Samantha began.

"Olivia, please call me Olivia."

"I have already told you everything I can think of. Everything that I could possible reveal as already been laid on the table. I have nothing to hide. I want this man to pay. I want this man to be punished. He killed my little girl. He raped her and then he murdered her. If there was anything I could do to make sure he was put behind bars I would tell you. I loved my little girl. I have no idea how to live without her she was my whole world. I gave up everything to have her. I went through hell when I conceived her. And I loved her. And I know that the only way I will be able to sleep at night is to make sure her murder is justified. To make sure he goes to hell, right where he belongs." Samantha was no longer sobbing. She had a slightly raised voice.

"If you will excuse me," Olivia said standing up.

"Olivia," Samantha said as Olivia headed to the door.

Olivia turned around.

"I have faith in you. I am counting on you."

"Samantha you have my word I will do whatever I can to make sure that Piper's death will not be taken in vain."

"I know you will."

Olivia opened the door to the interrogation room and walked out.

When she walked out Don was standing on the other side, watching through the two way mirror.

"What do you think?" he asked Olivia.

* * *

"I think I have to keep my word," Olivia said walking out of the smaller room that separated interrogation room from the bullpen.

"You are not going to believe what we found at the house." Fin said walking into the bullpen.

"What?" Olivia said standing up.

"A male's shirt with blood on it. It's in the lab as we speak."

Olivia took a heavy sigh. "Was there any hits on the semen we found?"

"None in the system." Munch said with a frown.

"Damn it."

"Where's Elliot?" Fin asked noticing Olivia alone.

"He is still talking to the husband."

"What do you think? The husband?"

"No I have this feeling that we are going to have it a lot harder than that." Olivia said closing her eyes and putting her head down.

"Liv, why is this case getting to you?" Fin asked putting is hand on her shoulder.

"I just have a lot on my mind. Not just the case. Just a lot in general." she said looking him in the eyes.

"Anything you want to talk about?" Fin said looking at Munch.

Munch took the hint and walked away.

"No not right now, thank you though. Really, that means a lot to me."

"I'm here for you baby-girl." he wrapped her in a hug.

"I know," she said embracing him, "thank you."

They broke the hug. Olivia took another deep inhale and exhale. "So what else did you find?" she said looking at Fin.

"No sign of forced entry. About 100 finger prints."  
"Samantha said that they had a party the other night. She made partner at the law firm she works for."

"Well that's great did you get a list?"

"Yea she gave me numbers and addresses of all the guests."

"I'm glad she's cooperating."

"She wants to find the creep that did this."

"Do you know how Elliot is coming with the husband?"

"I just came out of there about 15 minutes ago and from what I saw they both have the same recognition of what happened. I don't think they are making it up."

Elliot just walked into the bullpen, "For some reason I feel like this is going to be a long and tiring case."

"Tell me about it." Olivia said.

"What did you guys find at the house?" Elliot directed the question at Fin.

"We found a males shirt with blood. Too many finger prints to count. And that's about it. There was no forced entry. There were no signs of a struggle. Nothing."

"Damn it."

* * *

"That's what I said." Olivia added.

Olivia walked back into the examination room. Melinda was sitting at her desk doing paper work. She walked across the room to where Melinda was sitting.

"What's new? Anything on the blood?" Olivia questioned.

"Well the blood is Piper's. I also found a hair. I ran it through the system. Got a hit. Shawn Colt." Melinda said handing the file to Olivia.

"Does it match the hair found on the body?"

"No but I did find out that the hair found on her face does match the semen. If that helps any."

"Well it does and it would help a lot more if I had a name to match the perp's DNA." Olivia said sarcastically.

"For what its worth I think that the shirt was staged."

"What do u mean?"

"Well the blood on the shirt is about 2 days old. Both the trauma and the rape happened minutes before her death. I have this feeling the killer wanted to frame Shawn colt. It was too easily planted and like I said the blood was at least 2 days old. When I was doing the autopsy I found that she had a condition that made her have chronic nose bleeds. She I found traces of blood in her sinus cavities she had her last nose bleed about 2 days ago. I can't be positive but I would say it came from that."

"That's all circumstantial Melinda until we have a name for the one that left the semen Shawn is the only suspect."

Just then a young brunette walked in the room. "i have the results for that test you ordered." she said handing Melinda a file.

"Thank you." she said.

The young woman walked out of the room.

"Well here's new information. There was a hair and skin residue from two finger prints in the room that matches the semen and the hair we found on the body."

"That's great, now we just need to find out who it belongs too."

"I'll keep working maybe I missed something."

* * *

"Thanks," Olivia said as she turned and walked out the room.

Olivia walked into the interrogation room where Samantha was still sitting. She was drinking a cup of coffee. She looked up as Olivia walked in. her face was still tear stained and she was still sniffling. She had a box of Kleenex sitting beside her on the table but it looked like she had been using the same one for hours.

"Samantha I need to talk to you. I know that you said you told us everything you could think of but there are a lot of unanswered questions." Olivia stated as she sat in the chair she occupied earlier that day.

"Anything I can help with or think of I will tell you." Samantha answered.

"There was no forced entry to your home. Does anyone have a key besides you and Shawn?"

"Just Steven. He sometimes has to babysit if Becky isn't able."

"I am going to need his address."

"You have it. He was at the party."

"Is there any reason someone would want to hurt you Samantha?"

"Olivia I am the one that helps people just like you, I could not count on all my fingers and toes how many people who would want revenge. Or how many families want revenge. The list is too high."

"What about problems at work. Was there anyone who you recently had a problem or fight with?"

"Well my boss wanted me to take more cases but I told him I couldn't because I had a family. But he is a good guy like us. He wants to put the people who do this kind of thing away. And he doesn't have a key."

"You said that you were called into work at 10:30, correct?"

"Yes, but..." she started.

Olivia saw the wheels in her head turning.

"And were you at your desk the whole time?"

"I went to the bathroom," she said thinking hard.

"And when you got back was he gone?"

"No he was in his office. He came out and said that he was going to get some coffee and run an errand before he went home. He said that there was something that he needed to take care of and it would be a couple hours."

"And did he return?"

"Yes about 2 ½ hours later. He had the coffee. And he changed his clothes. He said that he was just going to sleep in the office that night. It wasn't anything unusual. Even I had done it upon occasion. When there is a case you are so into that you cant leave you just take a power nap and load up on caffeine and that's what he was doing."

"And did you leave your office again since he returned?"

"Yes once again we were drinking so much coffee that I was peeing like I was pregnant."

Olivia took a deep breath. "i think I just solved the case."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well when you went to the bathroom the first time he stole the house key. He used it to get into the house because he knew that Shawn was asleep. He went up to the bed room and woke Piper up. Got her dressed and staged the shirt to make it look like it was Shawn. Then he took Piper with him, probably telling her something like you wanted her and that he was going to take her to you. And then once he had her in the car. He hit her over the head. Knocked her out. Then he raped her and took her panties with him and then dumped the body in the park. When he got back to the office he was in different clothes that's because he went home and changed to get the blood off him. When you went to the bathroom again he put the key to the house back on." Olivia rambled before she knew what she was doing.

"Wow. Detective are you sure I mean where is the motive?"

"uhhh I have to go talk to my partner we have to get a warrant for his house. And the office." Olivia stood up. And walked out.

Once out the door she saw Cragen. "What the hell was that?" he asked.

"I just solved it."

"And you gave a mother a reason for revenge."

"Hold her tell her something anything. Just till we get him in here."

"I'll see what I can do but Olivia, that was a rookie move and you will be lucky if it doesn't get put in your jacket."

"I'll write it up myself Cap. But right now there is a little girl that I have to make sure didn't die in vain. That her killer is found and brought to justice." Olivia said walking out.

She found Elliot and filled him in and he called Alex.

She got the warrant.

They went and arrested Ralph Montaque for the rape and murder of Piper Michelle Colt. It was going to be a short trial because they found the underwear with blood in them at his house and his suit that also had blood on them in the garbage can in his house. Once they found the missing panties and the suit that was enough to subpoena a DNA test to see if it matched that found at the scene and at the house. And sure enough it matched.

* * *

Case closed.

Olivia was sitting at her desk. It was already 9:00 and they had a rough day. A lucky day, they ended the case that they had no clue what the victim's name was just 12 hours before. It was a quick case considering the lack of evidence.

"You know you work better when you are stressed." Cragen said walking up to Olivia desk. "Can I see you in my office?" he asked.

"Cap I still have to finish up this paper work."

"That wasn't a question Olivia." he said as he walked away.

She followed.

Once in his office she closed the door behind her.

"What you pulled today was inexcusable."

"I know. But I got caught in the moment, and..."

He put his hand up to cut her off. "Olivia you are one of the best detectives I have ever seen. You don't make mistakes like that. What is really going on?" his voice went from reprimanding to concern in a matter of seconds.

"I'm sorry captain I just have a lot to think about and a lot on my plate. I have been thinking all day and I think that I just need to take some time and collect myself."

"Do you want personal time? Because Olivia I will give it to you."

"No I just want this day to be over. I just want to go home and relax."

"Ok well I'm sure that Fin and Munch can finish the paper work you and Elliot go home."

"Thanks captain." she said turning toward the door. "for everything."

"You're welcome Olivia."

She opened the door and walked out.

The bullpen was rather empty when she walked over to her desk. Elliot was sitting in the desk across from hers.

"You ok?" he said looking up at her with his deep blue eyes

Those eyes made her melt every time she seen them. She was going to go crazy if she couldn't just take him home and have her way with him. "Yea Don just said we could go home. Said Fin and Munch could finish up. Where are they?" she said looking around.

"I don't know probably getting coffee or something." he answered. "But I'm sure that Cragen can fill them in if you want to go."

* * *

"Yea I am sure he can."

They sat in the car in silence on the way to her apartment.

She was thinking the whole time about what Melinda had said. They did need to talk. And she wanted to so bad but she didn't want to make him think that she didn't want to be with him. She loved him and she wanted to spend the rest of her life in his arms. But on the other hand, it was still early in the relationship no matter how long they knew each other. But with everything they had been through together all that would change would be the title from single to engaged. She was so confused on what she wanted that she didn't even notice that they stopped at a little diner down the street from her apartment.

"I assumed you were hungry," he said with a smirk.

"I don't think you have had a better accusation in years," she said smirking back at him.

They got out of the car and walked into the diner and sat in the booth way in the back. She was still thinking about the last 3 days.

The waitress came and took their orders. They both ordered the same thing. A burger with fries and the largest cup of coffee they could.

While waiting for their meal Elliot spoke first, "i didn't forget," he said not looking up from the table.

"I was kind of hoping you would have," she replied in a low voice.

"What is that supposed to mean?" his head shot up and he looked her right in the eyes.

Olivia took a deep ragged breath. She knew that once she started talking she was going to cry and she didn't want to. If she cried his first thought would be to get defensive and he would think that she wanted to end it. He would think that she would want to end the only thing in her life that has truly made her happy.

"Elliot," she spoke his name softly, "we need to talk."

There they were those words that every person dreaded hearing in a relationship. The only difference is she was saying them out of love. She wanted to save the relationship not end it.

"I know we do."

The waitress came with their food. And placed it in front of them. "Thank you," they said simultaneously. The woman nodded and walked away.

"Elliot I love you. I would die for you. I want to be with you forever. And that scares me. I have never had anyone that I have had so many feelings for. I want to have you with me when I sleep. I want to wake up in your arms. But the title wife or fiancée scares the hell out of me. I can't think straight. I start rambling about things I shouldn't."

"Liv," he tried to slow her down she was talking a million times a minute.

"I think about you all the time and I think about what I would do if I ever lost you and what I would do if you left me or what if the kids don't want you to be with me."

"Liv," he said louder.

She stopped.

"I love you the kids love you. It's not like this will be the first time that you have ever met them."

"Elliot I don't know what this feeling is that I have but I know that it's something I only feel when I'm with you. I can't stop that. I can't have that go away and I know that you think I'm psycho."

He chuckled, "always have."

She squinted her eyes at him. A look he knew meant she was serious.

"Look I know what you are feeling. Its love and nothing is going to happen to me. Nothing at all I promise you that I will not ever leave you. I will never let anything come between us. I will always love you. I will always want you in my arms at night. I will always want to wake up next to your beautiful face. And I want your smile to be the first thing that I see when I open my eyes. I love you Olivia Benson and I can't stop either. And I know that you are afraid. But what happened this morning. What you asked me. That was real. That wasn't just a heat of the moment thing. I know you Olivia. I know that you meant it and I know that you were glad that we got the case because that meant that you wouldn't have to hear an answer and then you thought that I would forget all about it. You wanted me to pretend that it never happened so that you could blame it on the heat of the moment. I love you and I want you to be my wife."

She knew that although the tough effort there were tears falling from her face. She didn't want to cry. She didn't think she had any more in her. It seemed that was all she was doing for the last 3 days. She loved him. She wanted to be with him and the fear was the only thing holding her back.

"Let's not call it wife. Let's call it partners. We have been partners for years now. So why don't we just stay 'partners' in life. That's a less scary word. I want you in every part of my life. I want you to be my partner for life. Olivia I can't live without you."

"Ok."

"What," he looked at her confused.

"Ok. Partners for life. Partners in life. I love you too. And I would not be able to live without you being my...partner."

"Really?"

"Do you want me to spell it out Elliot?"

"I just thought I would have to fight harder than that. You've gone soft on me Benson." he said with a smile. "Now that that's all straightened out I'm really not hungry."

"Me either, but they have really good peach cobbler. We could get some of that."

Elliot waved to the waitress that had brought them their food. She walked over to them.

"Can we have 2 slices of the peach cobbler?"

"Sure I'll bring it right out."

"thanks." he said as she walked away.

"I just want to get home so that I can relax." she said rubbing her face with both hands.

"Here's your treat enjoy," the waitress said placing a slice of cobbler in front of Elliot.

She placed a plate in front of Olivia too. Only Olivia's was empty. Except for a small diamond ring. It was gold. With the perfect diamond. Olivia gasped as she picked it off the plate. She looked at the ring and noticed it was engraved.

_My partner in life and love_

_~Elliot~_

Tears were running down her face. She was sobbing again. This time it was because she was so happy. When she saw the ring every fear she thought she had was tossed right out of the window.

Elliot stood up; he gently took the ring from Olivia and knelt on one knee.

"Olivia Benson you are the most amazing woman I have ever had the pleasure of having in my life. You are smart, funny and you don't take shit off of anyone. And that's what makes you, you. There is nothing about you I don't love. I love how you cry when you see the dog commercials about abuse, but you don't like dogs. I love how every time a song plays in the car you sing. But only if you think I can't hear you. And most of all I love how you know exactly everything there is to know about me. Even things I have yet to discover. But I would love to spend the rest of my life with you telling me all about them. Olivia Benson. Will you be my partner forever? Will you marry me?"

"Yes," she said taking a deep breath. She was still crying.

Elliot slipped the ring on her finger and kissed her deeply. Then hugged her, "you just made me the happiest man in the entire world." he whispered in her ear.

All of a sudden the entire diner burst in to clapping and celebration. Olivia looked around. It was all their friends. Everyone that was at the party the night before. There were a couple people that Olivia didn't recognize but she figured it was just the regular customers. She smiled really big.

"When did you plan this?"

"Today, I have had it planned for months actually. I just had to find the right time and place. And let everyone know. I did that easily." he said with a cocky smirk.

"How did you know I would say yes?"

"When you asked me this morning I knew you would say yes that's why I knew today was the day. I knew it was now or never. I know you Olivia."

"I love you Elliot." she said wrapping her arms around his neck once more and kissing him.

They broke apart. "I love you too baby."

* * *

After everyone gave them the congratulations and the I'm so happy they left and really went to her apartment.

She walked into the door and looked at the clock on the wall. 11:30. she was so exhausted after no sleep and the case and all the crying she was about to fall over right there and go to sleep.

Elliot began kissing her as soon as he shut and locked the door. He took her jacket off. And threw it to the floor. Then he began to lead her into the bedroom. Never breaking the kiss. Once in the bed room she took his belt off and threw it across the room. And he did the same with hers. She began to unbutton his shirt. But becoming impatient, she broke away from the kiss and forcefully ripped the shirt open in one swift motion sending buttons flying everywhere. She unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and he did the same to hers. They both pulled down their pants and underwear. Then she pulled her shirt over her head and threw it to the side. And they went back to kissing.

There was no winner in this battle at least not at the moment. They were both putting up a hell of a fight for dominance. And neither would submit so easily.

Elliot pinned Olivia to the wall. He then unbuttoned the clasp of her bra that was easily enough in the front this time. He slid it off her shoulders and let it fall to the floor. He grabbed one of her legs and wrapped it around his waist. He then took his hand and began to massage her breast. She could feel his long member wanting to enter her. And she knew that he could feel that she was ready. His ready shaft teased her as he began to thrust into her but not enter her. He broke the kiss and began to move his kisses and suckles down to her neck. He released her breast and took both of her hands and pined them to the wall above her head. He shifted so he was holding both her arms up with one hand and then he took her other leg with his free hand and lifted it to his waist. Just as he had done before. She was now only supported by him.

"Come on baby stop teasing me," she said moaning.

He looked at her and smirked. Then with one very powerful, very precise thrust, she got her wish. He was deep in her. He was giving her just what she wanted. With every thrust came a moan and grunt of pure pleasure from both of them.

He ravished her lips once more. As he continued to thrust harder and faster, his mouth now engulfed all the moans she was letting out.

He began to move to her neck once more. This time he wasn't just suckling but nibbling too. And the small bites gave her a pleasure that she needed to go over the edge. She was going to cum already.

_Already Olivia? _She thought to herself._ Come on you can wait. _Then it hit the warm sensation ran throughout her entire body. Through her veins making her blood hot. _Just wait come on you can w__ait. _She repeated in her thoughts.

"You want to cum baby?" he asked teasingly.

"Yes baby." she moaned.

"Too bad." he gave a sly smirk and exited her.

He then spun her around and dropped her on the bed. He climbed on top of her and began to wrestle her lips for dominance again. And then he began to move downward. To her neck. And then her breasts.

He took his time at her breasts. He knew that she loved it when he would suck on them and even nibble them. So that's what he did. Then he moved to her stomach. She was shaking like he had never seen before.

This meant that he was doing his job as her man.

With every kiss to her abdomen came a jolt of pleasure in her stomach. She couldn't believe she was shaking like this. It was a first that it was visible to other people. Elliot was the only man to have ever gotten her to that point.

He moved lower and lower. And then there he was at her nice and moist slit.

He began to flick her clit with his tongue. She arched her back with every flick.

Every sound that came out of her mouth from that point on were just unrecognizable noises.

At one point Elliot thought he heard his name followed by, "oh yes." but he wasn't sure.

A rush of pleasure coursed through her body making her throw her hands above her head to grab the head board. She need something to grab onto or she was going to climb the wall.

She couldn't hold it any longer. In an instant she released and filled his mouth with her creamy fluids. He looked up at her and smiled.

She was still shaking. He slithered his way up her body, and lay on top of her. He was going to enter her again when she flipped him over.

"Your turn to cum baby," she said kissing his lips. She then climbed on top of his erected shaft. And they both let out a loud moan as every inch of him entered her. She began to ride him. She bucked her hips and began to glide back and forth at the same time.

Back and forth, buck, back and forth, buck, back and forth, buck. His whole body stiffened and she knew that this was it and it was for her too.

_Again. Oh my god again_, she thought.

There it was, simultaneously they both released. He grabbed her hips and lifted upward thrusting into her to make sure every single centimeter was insider her core. And he held her there until they both her done cumming.

She collapsed on top of his chest not letting him out of her just yet. "i love you so much Elliot." she said panting.

"I love you too baby." he said breathless.

"Can we stay like this forever?"

"I wish Liv. I really wish we could."

"This is everything I have ever dreamed of."

"Me too baby."

After those final words she drifted to sleep. He rolled her over and pulled out of her. Then he covered her up.

* * *

They had a long day. With a lot of ups and downs. He only hoped that tomorrow would be different.

The newly engaged couple walked into the bullpen and sat at their respective desks. They both had a cup of coffee in their hands and a smile on their face.

"I see you two are doing better." Fin said.

"We are. We are madly and completely..." before she could finish she heard a familiar voice behind her.

* * *

"Benson, Stabler. Interrogation room. NOW!"

**A/N: wow that was a very intense chapter. A lot of just about every emotion I could think of. Lol I hoped you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I had a little help from my sister Julie tho. The case was totally her idea. I just added the details. Lol. Love you sissy!**

**well anyway who wanted Olivia and Elliot? What did they do? Was it good? Was it bad? What will they do to get**** out of what ever they think they got into? Wow am I rambling... Please review :)!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything recognizable.**

They walked into the interrogation room and sat down. Tucker sat down and pressed record.

"Detectives would you mind stating your names for the record?" he said looking at Elliot.

"I'm detective Elliot Stabler."

"I'm detective Olivia Benson."

"Do either of you know why we are here?"

"Well there are so many things Tucker but I'm guessing you aren't here to see our pretty faces so why don't you just cut to the chase." Elliot said with a cocky smile.

Olivia chuckled. She loved it when he was a smartass.

"Well there were a couple things that have been brought to our attention. And we think you both know what we are talking about." he said with a collected voice.

"What are you talking about?" Olivia questioned starting to think Tucker just wanted to bust their balls like always.

"The case you two were on yesterday, one of you let a lot of information about the case to a grieving mother."

Olivia's heart sank some reason she thought it was something else Tucker wanted.

"We were interrogating her and we were talking with her not to her." Elliot saved.

"Well none the less some very important information got out and we have to get to the bottom of it."

After three hours of interrogation, Tucker decided that they hadn't revealed anything that would allow any catastrophes.

Tucker stood up and went to walk out of the interrogation room. When he reached the door he stopped and turned around.

"For the record, I always thought you two would make a cute couple. Congratulations." with that he walked out.

Olivia and Elliot looked at each other bewildered.

"How did he?" Elliot questioned.

Olivia looked around and noticed she forgot to take off her engagement ring. "Damn it." she said holding her hand up, making it obvious to Elliot what she was talking about.

"But how did he know it was me? And why was he happy?"

"I have no idea. But it's a little unnerving. I mean I thought he hated us."

"So did I."

"Elliot what if this is some kind of test?"

"Baby it don't matter we will figure it out as we go."

"Elliot I can't handle that I can't have him ruining this. I love you too much and I don't want him to think he has power over us."

"Don't worry baby I won't let that happen I promise." Elliot said standing her up and wrapping her in a hug.

"I love you Elliot."

"I love you too baby."

XXX

Fin rushed into the bullpen.

"What's going on?" Olivia said noticing he was out of breath.

"I...have...to...tell...you..."he said trying to catch his breath.

"What, what is it?"

"They can't do anything."

"Who can't do anything?" Elliot said standing up to make sure his friend was ok.  
"No one can do anything to you guys for being together. I noticed Tucker was here and I went and talked to Casey."

"You did what?"

"I asked her if there was any way around all the legal stuff with you too and there is."

"What is it?" Olivia shot a look at Elliot; she knew he was a little upset that Fin did it without talking to them first.

"All you have to do is show them that your relationship wont interfere with your job. If you can prove that it won't affect your job then they can't touch either of you for you being together."  
"How did she find this out?"

"Well it's a long story just know that it's possible. Baby-girl there is a way that you can go around this. You both just have to get interviewed by a psychiatrist so that they can make sure that working together and living together won't drive you and everyone else crazy there will be nothing that they can do."

"Thank you, Fin I really appreciate this." she said taking the paper he had in his hands. "But I mean you guys are the only ones we have told about this, we haven't even told Elliot's kids or Kathy."

"What does it matter to Kathy you guys are divorced." Fin said looking at Elliot.

"I thought it was fair. She has a right to know that I loved Elliot for a long time which includes while they were together." Olivia answered before Elliot could.

"And she has a right to know that I loved Olivia before the divorce was ever thought of. So we are going to invite them over for dinner. I want to make sure that everyone knows." Elliot said pulling Olivia into his arms. He kissed her nose. "I love you too much to keep this a secret."

"I think we should do this tonight," she said looking him in the eyes for a reaction.

"Ok," he said with a calm voice.

"Really?"

"Yes like I said I love you too much to keep you a secret."

XXX

Elliot walked into the cribs and pulled out his cell phone. He hit the number 3 and it dialed Kathy. He put the phone to his ear and listened to the ring.

_"H__ello."_ she said on the other side of the phone.

"Hey I was just calling to ask you a question. I wanted to know if we could all have dinner tonight."

_"__We__? __That's__ funny I was going to call and ask you the same thing. I have something I need to tell you."_

"Yes," he chuckled, "me too. Umm can you make sure that everyone is there? All the kids I mean."

_"Yes __they are going to be here anyway, I need to talk to everyone too."_

"Good," he sighed. "So where are we going to do this we can do it at my place and I can cook or we can do it at your place and you can cook or I can it don't matter."

_"We__ll I was thinking of grilling out. Richard wants some good burgers from the grill."_

"Richard is going to be there?"

_"__Y__es Elliot__, R__ichard is going to be here. He is my boyfriend."_

"Well I mean you just met him what like 3 months ago."

_"__It__ doesn't matter we are a couple. When are you going to except __that?__"_

"Kathy I'm only thinking of Eli. That's all I could care less if you are seeing someone. But that guy just doesn't sit right with me."

_"__Richard__ is great with __Eli__. There is nothing you have to worry about."_

"Well I will be off work about 7 so what do you say I get there about 8? I'll cook."

_"__Sounds like you have it all figured out Elliot__."_

He went to hang up the phone when Kathy started to speak.

_"__Oh__ and Elliot, please don't say anything to him. He really is a good guy and I don't want to have any fighting tonight."_

"Kathy tonight is a night that bares only good news. I have something that I want to share with my family, the ones I love."

_"__Thank__ you. I'll see you at 8 o'clock sharp."_

"I'll be there. Bye." he said and hung up the phone.

Just then Olivia walked in.

"How did it go?"

"Pretty good, a little weird though. She said she wanted to call and ask if I would come over."

"Did you tell her I would be coming too?"

He smiled at her. "No I thought that I would leave that as a surprise."

"Oh that's great. Now I get to be the one that feels like I'm intruding. Thanks." she said sarcastically with a smile. "You are so lucky I love you."

"Yes I am." he gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

XXX

Elliot pulled into the familiar driveway, to the Queens house he allowed Kathy to keep when they divorced. He parked, turned off the car, and looked at Olivia.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said with a reassuring smile.

"Liv, why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Why do you try to hide that you are scared?"

"I don't I was just thinking."

"About?"

"Well we are at your ex-wife's house to tell her that we are engaged. That seems normal to you?"

"Well no. but I think that it will be fine I mean me and Kathy are still friends. She has a boyfriend. She knows that I was going to date as well so I don't see where the problem is."

"I just feel awkward. I seriously don't think that it's going to cause major problems but I think that it will cause some pretty thick air. And I don't want to have that feeling El. that's why I was hoping that we would have went to a place that was either mutual or where I felt more comfortable."

"Well we are here now and I think it will be fine. So why don't we just get this over with. We have to tell them. And Kathy's boyfriend is going to be here so you won't be the only one that may feel uncomfortable." he said holding her hand.

"Ok," she said with a heavy sigh. "Let's go. Your right we have to do this."

They both go out of the car and walked to the door, again hand in hand.

Elliot rang the doorbell and Kathleen swung the door open with a smile. "Dads here," she yelled behind her, "and he brought Olivia." she yelled again. She hugged her father and then Olivia. "Hey you guys."

Kathleen was beautiful. She looked like Kathy more than Elliot. She had blonde hair and blue eyes but the rest was Kathy all over again.

"Come in you guys." she said opening the door the rest of the way for them to enter.

Once inside the rest of the family greeted them in the living room.

Maureen, Kathy and Lizzy walked in from the kitchen.

"Hey Liv, I didn't expect you to be here." Kathy said with a smile.

"Well um" Olivia started to say trying to think of an excuse.

"Where are the guys at?" Elliot cut in.

"Outside, mom had them go out there. They were getting in the way." Maureen said smiling at Kathy.

"Why don't you go join them and Olivia can help us girls get everything ready for the grill."

"Sounds great." he said dropping her hand and smiling, before walking past the women in the kitchen door way to make his way outside.

Olivia awkwardly smiled and walked into the kitchen with the three Stablers and the former Mrs. Stabler.

They already had the hamburger made into patties, and the hotdogs were already on a plate, ready to be taken out.

"Ok so what do you need me to do?" Olivia said walking to the sink to wash her hands.

"Well you can put the chips in the bowl and I'll yell out and have dad start the grill." Maureen stated walking out the back door.

"I'll go tell Richard, Dickie, Eli, and Jason to run to the store they can take our car to go get the ice and the beer. That way they aren't in the way." Kathleen said following Maureen out the back door.

Lizzie began to cut the lettuce, tomatoes, and onions.

Kathy was stirring the lemonade.

Olivia grabbed the chips completed the task that was assigned to her.

"So do you know what dad wanted to talk about?" Lizzie asked.

"We are all going to talk when we are done eating." Kathy cut in.

"I know I just thought that we could talk now. I mean you know a little girl talk jeez mom." Lizzie replied.

"Well that's not fair, Liz. Your father is here and he wants to tell you all something together and it's not fair of you to ask Olivia. If he wanted you to know beforehand he would have said so himself." Kathy reprimanded.

"Ok I get it." Lizzie said.

"Yes Lizzie I know I just think that like your mother said it would be best if we waited." Olivia said smiling at the young woman.

It was weird seeing all of the children grow up. Maureen was 28, Kathleen was 24, Lizzie and Dickie were 19, and little Eli, the one she was at the hospital with, was almost 5.

Olivia remembers that day very well. She was doing Elliot a favor and taking Kathy to the doctor. They had gotten into an accident and Kathy went into labor.

Liv walked over to the door and looked out at the perfect scene in front of her. Elliot was standing at the grill trying to start it up. Maureen was standing in front of him laughing. Eli, Dickie, and two men that Olivia never seen before, were talking to Kathleen. She assumed that the older gentleman was Richard and the younger one was Jason. Everyone was laughing. Everyone looked happy.

This is what she wanted. She hoped that it would last even after the news of their engagement was out. She was worried about the kids. She wanted them to all accept her. They did now. But now all she was, all she had ever been was Elliot's partner. But in a couple hours she would become part of a family. And she wanted them to know that she was still just Olivia. She _was _still just Olivia. She loved his family. She has known them since they were all kids. She thought they felt the same but with the news she had to share she wasn't sure how they would feel.

"Hey Liv can you help me take this out to Elliot?" Kathy asked just as sweet as possible.

Olivia quickly snapped out of the trance she was in and looked at Kathy and smiled. "of course." she answered and walked over and picked up the hamburgers. She followed Kathy outside to Elliot.

"Here you go grill master," Kathy said.

"Thank you, thank you," he said as she sat the hotdogs down.

"Here you go, babe." Olivia said as she sat the hamburgers down. Then she caught what she said and just looked at Elliot with a worried look.

Luckily it seemed no one noticed what she said.

Maureen looked at her and giggled but didn't say anything. Olivia looked over at her, and gave a nervous smile.

"Olivia do you mind if I talk to you over here for just a second?" Kathy said.

"Sure no problem." Olivia said following Kathy as she walked away.

They stopped about 20 feet from Elliot and Maureen.

"Are you and Elliot," she started to say.

"Yes," Olivia said straightening herself up. "That's what we came here to tell you. I know you think something might have happened while you two were married but Kathy I swear on everything it never did. Yes I loved him. Yes I wanted to be with him. But no we never acted on anything. I could never get past hurting you and the kids. And I'm sorry if us being together now causes you any heartache. But Kathy I couldn't hide my feelings for him any longer," Olivia looked Kathy in the eyes, "I hope that you don't hate me Kathy. And don't be mad at Elliot."

Kathy interrupted, "Liv I'm not mad and I don't hate you. This is wonderful news."

Olivia looked shocked. "Really?"

"Yes really, I knew that Elliot had feelings for you for a long time. I could tell womanly intuition. And in the beginning yes I did have some suspicion. But I quickly realized that I was wrong. I knew you loved him. I knew that you were fighting those feelings and I respect you for that. And I respect you for wanting to tell me I know that this must have made you nervous. And you do it anyway. That takes some guts you are a real woman Olivia."

"Thank you Kathy, that means a lot to me." Olivia said with a smile. "Now I think that we should get back over there." Olivia said. They both walked back over to Elliot and Maureen.

"You ok?" Elliot said to Olivia.

"Yes I am fine." she answered.

XXX

Elliot just took the last of the hamburgers off the grill. All the hotdogs were already done.

"Can you go get me the buns Liv?" he asked.

"Yes." She smiled and walked into the house.

"You love her don't you?" Kathy asked once Olivia walked away.

"Yes I do." Elliot answered.

"Why were you guys so secretive?" Maureen asked.

"We wanted to tell you all at the same time. It was her idea to tell you all. I was going to tell you kids separately. But she wouldn't have it."

"She is a good woman Elliot," Kathy said rubbing his back. "Don't screw it up."

"I don't plan on it."

Olivia returned with the hamburger buns.

"Do you want your buns toasted?"

"Toast my buns baby." Olivia said teasing him.

Elliot just smiled.

"You guys are cute together." Maureen said.

"Thank you." Olivia said as she wrapped her arm around Elliot.

Just then Kathleen and the boys showed back up with a large bag of ice and three 24 packs of miller light.

Olivia pulled away from Elliot quickly hoping that they didn't notice.

"Dad, do you think that I could get just one beer?" Dickie said as they walked up.

"Dickie you are only 19 not only would I go to jail for giving to you then you would go to jail for drinking it so negative captain. There is some soda over there though."

Dickie gave a heavy sigh and walked away.

Olivia gave a small chuckle. "You act like you weren't 19 at one time. El you know very well that you drank when you were his age and you didn't have the balls to ask permission either."

"You are right but that was different. I was also a father. And I was also not my son. I want him to be better than that."

"You have great kids El. They all have turned out wonderful. So you can stop thinking like that."

"I know and I want to keep it that way."

"Ok they are your children. And for what it's worth I wouldn't have let him either. I just think that you shouldn't have been so blunt about the whole thing." she said.

"Ok I will let him know that I just want him to be better than I was ok. Will that make you feel better?"

"Yes as a matter of a fact it will." she said with a smile.

"Ok everyone foods done. Eli will you go get Lizzie and tell her to bring out the rest of the food? Kathleen you can help too."

"Ok." Eli and Kathleen said in unison.

XXX

After dinner everyone gathered in the living room. Kathy and Richard stood together in front of everyone.

"Ok so I told you all that we had something that we wanted to share. And here we go. Richard and I have decided to take our relationship a step farther, we are going to move in together."

"That's awesome mom. So who is moving where?" Dickie asked.

"What do you mean that's great Kathy you guys have only known each other what 3 months?" Elliot protested.

"We will be moving to the city," Kathy directed to Dickie. "And that's none of your business." she directed toward Elliot. "I only wanted you here so that you wouldn't have to find out through someone else. I didn't want you to think that I was trying to keep anything from you. I thought that you of all people would be excited Elliot." she raised her voice. "We are going to be moving to the city and that means that Eli would be closer to you. You would be able to see him more. Every other weekend is hard for you and I know this. That is why when Richard asked me Elliot I told him that we had to move to his apartment in the city it's a 3 bedroom on the Upper East Side. Eli would have his own room and we would be closer than if we stayed here. I love Richard and he loves me and this is happening. Elliot we got a divorce so that we wouldn't argue anymore it seems we are just doing it again and I don't want to so if you want to say anything else we can talk about this later but I think that there is something that you would also like to reveal to our children." Kathy closed, entwining her hand with Richards.

"Well," Elliot started standing up from the couch. "I want to say that I am sorry for that. I am happy for you Kathy and I want you to be happy. It's just that we have to worry about Eli and I know that you would never let anything happen to him it's just you know how I am when it comes to the kids. They are my world. I just want them to be safe. And when this is only the second time I have met this man that you are now going to be living with, with my son, I am going to be objective. I'm sorry and yes I would really like to sit down like adults and talk about this later."

He turned around to face the rest of the room. "Now kids, well I have to say that you are all, all grown up, but you will always be my babies. But anyway, I have some news I would also like to share with you. I have begun to see someone."

"What wait who?" Kathleen quickly questioned.

Olivia stood up and walked to stand beside Elliot.

Everyone's eyes lit up.

"Are you serious?" Lizzie asked shocked.

"I don't want you to be mad at me. I'm sorry if I hurt any of you by being with your father. We have loved each other for a very long time. And I want you all to know right now, nothing, and I do mean nothing, happened while your mother and father were together. I would never want to cause any one of you any heartache. And I know that it's weird but also know that you want your father to be happy. And he is. We are. And I love you all and I hope that none of you think that I want to replace your mom. I would never want to do that. I just want to be Olivia. Just like always."

"Liv I have to say that I am excited," Maureen stated. "I think that this is wonderful news. If my dad is happy then I am happy."

"I second that," Lizzie said once the shock wore off.

"Me too." Dickie said.

"And I as well," Kathleen added.

"Does this mean I have two mommies and two daddies?" Eli asked.

Elliot and Kathy looked at each other. Elliot walked over and squatted in front of Eli. "No champ. You will always have one mommy and one daddy. But now you just have two more people who will love you. Mommy and daddy both love you so does Liv and Richard. But baby you will always have only one mommy and one daddy ok?"

The little boy smiled and nodded his head.

"Now give daddy a hug," Elliot said opening his arms wide.

And Eli did just as Elliot said. He wrapped his arms around Elliot's neck and gave him a huge hug.

"I love you bubby."

"I love you too daddy."

Seeing this display in front of her had brought tears to Olivia's eyes. She tried not to let the tears fall but it was a battle that she would not win.

Elliot sat the little boy down and walked back over to Olivia.

"Now I'm glad you are ok with me and Olivia being a couple because there is something else we would like to share with you." Elliot added.

"Oh my god she's pregnant." Maureen blurted out.

"No god no. wait do I look pregnant?" Olivia quickly responded.

"Maureen she is not pregnant. We are getting married." Elliot corrected.

"No seriously do I look pregnant?"

"You guys are getting married that's awesome." Kathleen added.

"I thought you guys just got together." Kathy put in.

"We did but I have loved Olivia for a long time." Elliot answered.

The Stablers and Kathy began to chit chat about the news that was just unveiled.

Olivia looked over to Richard. "Hey do I look pregnant?"

Richard chuckled. "No you are beautiful. You do not look pregnant."

"Thank you." she responded.

"You're welcome."

Olivia turned back to Elliot, who was talking to Kathy.

"Do you guys have a date or anything set yet?" Kathy asked.

"No not yet this just happened last night. We haven't really talked about it." Elliot answered wrapping Olivia tight one armed hug.  
"Well I have just like every other girl in the world already planned my dream wedding." Olivia added looking up at him.

"Ok what do you have in mind?"

"Well I thought that we could have it in the winter. I love winter weddings." Olivia began.

"What about this winter?" Elliot interrupted.

"That's a little soon Elliot I mean we just got together less than a week ago and now we are engaged, I thought we would take this all slow."

"Baby," Elliot said turning to look Olivia in the eyes, "We can take this as slow as you want. I don't want to rush you. How about you can plan it all when you are ready and let me know and then we will go over it together. That is only when you are ready."

"Ok," she agreed.

Elliot kissed her forehead. "I love you baby."

"I love you too. And I'm not saying it will be forever but I think that this winter may be a little soon. I might change my mind before then, but I think we should see how it goes first."

"That's fine with me. As long as you are mine that is all I care about."

They turned back to Kathy and Richard, who are smiling at the adorable display in front of them.

"Why are you looking at us like that?" Olivia asked.

"Nothing," Kathy answered. "I just haven't seen Elliot this happy in a long time. Its nice to see him in love again."

"Thanks Kathy that means a lot to me." Elliot said with a smile.

Olivia smiled too. It was nice to know that after a divorce that two people can still be friends and care about the other person. She knew that they still had their problems, but for the most part they were still friends. And that was a good thing. They had five children together, although all but one was grown, it was still healthy to have a nice friendship for them.

"Kathy I have to say that I was not expecting you to be this calm about the whole situation. I was kind of expecting a fight, or at least an argument. I am glad that it happened like this instead." Olivia said. "I'm glad that we have your blessing that means so much to me Kathy you really cannot understand the worry I had that you and the kids would reject the idea of me and Elliot being together let alone the engagement."

"Like I said before Liv I knew you two were in love before you even knew I could just tell. I know that I should have been mad. And I honestly was, when I thought you were having an affair with my then husband. But I know now that nothing was going on. I knew you loved him. I knew that he loved you. But I also knew that you couldn't help it. And I knew that me and Elliot weren't in love like we should have been to get married we were just kids. We were trying to do what we thought we should have done because I was pregnant for Maureen. I would never take anything back that I had with Elliot because I have five beautiful children because of it. But I know that we were only together because we both felt obligated. I love Elliot still to this day but I am not in love with him. I was at one point but that was because I was so young that I didn't really know what love was. Well I know now that what you two have, that's real love. That's what Elliot and I never had and we would never have it. You two were meant to be together. And I'm glad that you have officially admitted that to yourselves because now you both can be happy. And you both deserve it."

Kathy had tears running down her cheeks as did Olivia. Olivia walked the two steps that were separating her and Kathy and she embraced her in a hug. "Thank you so much Kathy."

Elliot looked at all of his children and Jason. Jason looked a little fidgety and Elliot didn't know if it was because of all the excitement that just happened, or if it was something else.

Elliot didn't like the fact that his 24 year old daughter was living with her boyfriend that she had only been seeing for a year. But he knew that if he tried to stop her, she would just distance herself from him. And that was not a risk he was willing to take. Jason seemed like an ok kid. He had been friends with Kathleen since school. He knew him from late study nights and high cell phone bills. Although looking back, Elliot always thought that he would just stay the best friend and nothing else. But when Kathleen had told him that the two of them decided to start dating his fatherly instincts kicked in, and he just automatically began to distrust the boy. This was the protector coming out in him and you could see it on his face.

Elliot studied Jason. There was something off about him. There was something that was about to happen and Elliot could feel it.

Jason stood up and faced the family. "Kathleen I have wanted to do this for a while but I just didn't think that it was ever going to be the right time. Now that I have everyone here and we are all in a good mood I would like to ask you a question." in one swift motion Jason pulled something out of his pocket and knelt down on one knee. "Kathleen Stabler will you marry me?"

"Oh my god yes I will." Kathleen burst into tears and hugged the man that had just slid the ring on her finger.

"Easy baby," Olivia said as she attached to Elliot in a tight hug. She could feel him tense up. She knew that he was angry.

"Congratulations baby," Elliot said, "I love you and I'm happy for you both." he forced a smile.

"Kathleen I'm so happy for you but it's getting late and we both have to work so I think it's about time for us to go home." Olivia said. She knew that it was best to get Elliot as far away from Jason as possible. She dragged Elliot to the door as they said their good byes and hugged everyone.

Olivia knew that it was taking all that Elliot had not to punch his soon to be son in law.

XXX

On their way to the car, Olivia decided it would be best for her to drive them back to her place. Elliot was not in a state of mind to drive.

After 15 minutes of silence, Elliot finally made a noise. It was not the noise that she was expecting. He was laughing. Well more of a chuckle. But at least it was a noise.

"Why are you laughing?" she asked confused.

"Do you have any idea how hard it was not to kill him as soon as he swooped down on knee?" he gave another chuckle. "I mean do you believe the nerve of that punk? Asking my daughter to marry him without asking for my blessing? Wit out making sure that it was ok with me or even Kathy first? I swear Liv it took all that was in my power to not kill that little bastard."

"I know."

"I just didn't want to go off in front of Kathleen. I couldn't handle losing her over a boy."

"Baby that wouldn't happen, Kathleen loves you and you are her father. She knows that you love her and she also knows about your temper so I'm sure that it would have all worked out ok. Honestly I was shocked you didn't say anything. And I'm sure that they were too."

"All that was running through my mind was what if I lose her? What if this shit head takes her away from me? She is my baby Liv I cannot let him take her from me."

"I understand that but she is 24 and she has known this guy since they were kids. Not to mention they have been living together for 8 months and they have been dating for a year. They love each other El and it may seem like you are losing her but baby it's not like that." Olivia said still looking straight in front of her. "They are taking things the way a normal couple would. Elliot we started dating what 3? 4 days ago? And we are already engaged. Elliot we don't even live together."

"We haven't talked about it?"

"No we haven't."

"How could we have not talked about it?"

"Because Elliot everything is going so fast we really didn't have time to talk about where we are going to spend this life that has happened in the last couple days."  
"Ok you want to talk about it now?"

"Now? While we are on the way back to my apartment? This is when we decide whose house we will call ours and who's house we will let go?"

"Well Liv I mean if we are going to have our life together then yea that's what we will have to do."

"Well ok I think that we should weigh the pros and cons to both places. I don't think that we should just look at one or two things I want to cover it all." she said still looking at the road.

"Ok so then we can wait till we get home and we can make a list."

Olivia chuckled. "Elliot neither of us are list kind of people. And to try and pretend that we are would just cause chaos."

"I know but it was worth a try wasn't it?" Elliot chuckled too.

Olivia parked the car. They were now in front of her apartment building. She shut the car off and looked over at Elliot. "I love you."

"I love you too," he gave her a quick peck on the lips. "Otherwise I would have never let you drive my car."

They shared a laugh. "Come on let's get upstairs. I really want to talk about this housing situation. And I have a feeling this will be our first fight."

Elliot raised his eye brow. They fought a lot over the years. And he was giving her that 'yea right' look.

"I meant as a couple," she smiled.

XXX

Once they were settled in the apartment, Elliot grabbed a pen and a piece of paper and sat at the table.

"Are you serious right now?" Olivia said just looking at him.

"It's important to you Liv which means that it is important to me, so yes I am serious come sit and lets do this please."

She looked in his eyes, and she seen how much making her happy meant to him. Even if they weren't list people it would be nice to try.

"Ok fine," she said sitting across from him at the table. "so the pros of my apartment, its closer to work. It's cozier. Its more affordable not only on rent but also on electricity, I have all electric heating so it is cheaper in the winter time."

Elliot was busy writing everything that Olivia said.

"Ok is that it?"

"Well I don't want to give up my apartment Elliot I have lived her for years."

"I know that's why we agreed to look at all the pros and cons."

"Well I don't think there is a con. I love it here."

"Well how about the fact that it's in the city so it's not as safe. And that it may be closer to the work but it is also farther from Eli. And there is only one spare bedroom here."

"That's all we need that would be a room for Eli and then we would have the master bedroom."

"What if we want a little one of our own. If we live in my house in queens then we would have not only a bedroom for Eli but we would have 2 extra bedrooms in case we want to start our own family."

Olivia looked shocked. "You want to start a family with me?"

"Liv baby I want nothing more than to start a family with you. I love you and I know that you want nothing more than to have a child. And I want nothing more than to be the one who can make that happen. I love kids. I already have five and I would love to have one more. Maybe two like the twins. Hell Liv I want as many as we can have. If we can have 12 then I want 12 if we can only have one then I want one."

"Elliot I want to have a child but I mean there are so many risks of having a baby at my age. I'm 46 years old what about all the defects?" she was starting to get chocked up. Olivia always wanted children. It was just that she was never in a relationship long enough because of work to settle down. Now that she was in her forties she thought that the opportunity to have children had passed her up

"Liv I know all the risks. I have gone through this one other time. Kathy was over 40 when she had Eli and he turned out fine. All you have to do is go to the doctor and get the regular visits and you have to make sure you take your vitamins and it helps prevent most of the health problems."

"And what if it doesn't prevent any of them?"

"Then we will deal with it then. Liv I want to have a child with you. And I know you want a child too. I know you love children."

Olivia wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Can we talk about this later?"

"Of course baby," Elliot said reaching over and holding her hand. "I know that this is a big move and I know that this is all happening so fast. I know you want to slow down and like I said before I don't care how long it takes I will be here when you are ready."

"Thank you, I love you Elliot."

"I love you too Liv."

Olivia smiled. "Why did it take so long for us to admit that we loved each other?"

"Because we were both scared that the other one wouldn't respond the same way. We were both afraid of hurting someone else by loving each other. We were both worried about everything except the fact that love should conquer all."

"And it finally has."

"Yes it finally has."

"I think that we should probably get to bed. We have had a long day. And I don't know about you but I'm super tired. And we still have to go to work in the morning can't we just decide who's home we have to sell tomorrow?"

"I will sell my house. If Kathy is moving in with Richard that means that they will just 10 minutes from here. Granted they would only be 5 from my house but still I can live with 10 minutes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I mean all that other stuff is true it's cheaper cost of living here and its closer to work which means we save money on gas. It makes sense. And if we decide that we need more room in the future then we can figure it out then. Sound ok?"

"Yes. How did I get someone so amazing?"

"You just got lucky."

Olivia stood up and walked over to him. She straddled his lap and kissed him. "Yes I did."

He kissed her lips tenderly, and moved his hands all over her back softly.

"El," Olivia said breaking the kiss.

"What is it baby?"

"Do you want to try and have a baby?"

"Do you want to try?"

"Well I have always wanted a baby I can call my own and now I would love to have a child we can call ours. I want to share the most special thing in the world with you."

He kissed her softly and passionately. "I would love to have a baby we call ours. I love you Olivia."

"I love you too."

Elliot lifted Olivia up into his arms and carried her into the bedroom.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable.**

**A/N: let me start by saying that I am so sorry for those of you where were waiting for an update... I know that it has been way too long... and there really is no excuse other than writers block is a bitch. Lol any way here is what I have to offer trying to keep the peace. I hope you like the good news that awaits...**

**3 months later**

Olivia looked at the little white stick. Another negative.

It had been three months since her and Elliot had gotten together, got engaged, decided to move in together, and try to start a family. Elliot immediately moved in to Olivia's apartment after they had their talk. Things were just starting to calm down. Elliot was starting to get into Olivia's at home routines and Olivia was starting to realize that Elliot never had an at home routine.

As Olivia sat on the toilet in her bathroom looking at the stick in her hand, she took a deep sigh. This was the 5th test this week. She had taken one test a day everyday. She wanted one to say positive. She wanted to have a baby so bad. Since her and Elliot agreed to have a child it was like that was all that was on her mind.

She just kept looking at the test. Disappointed. Just like she had the last five days.

With another heavy sigh she threw the test in the bin beside the toilet. She stood up and walked out of the bathroom.

When she walked out into the living room she saw Elliot watching baseball. When he heard her shut the bathroom door behind her, he stood up and had a hopeful look on his face.

Olivia looked at him with tears in her eyes.

He jumped over the couch and ran to hug her. "its ok baby, Rome wasn't built in a day these things take time."

"I know but I just want it so bad," she said burying her face in his chest.

"I know I do too. And it will happen I just know it will. You are destined to be a mother. There is plenty of time."

"Elliot I'm almost 47 years old my biological clock is ticking very loudly. And its echoing," she said looking up at him. "all I hear is tick tick tick tick. And I just want it to stop."

"I know baby and like I said it will we will have a baby and I love you and I want you to stop stressing its hard to conceive if you are stressed." he said holding her face in his hands. He leaned in and kissed her passionately. "but hey look at the bright side of things. The more negatives you have the more we get to try for a positive."

Olivia gave a light chuckle, "you are such a man." she gave him a peck on the cheek. "what time is it?"

Elliot looked at his watch, "it is 8:00."

"We have to get to work." she said walking over to the coat rack, and grabbing her coat.

"Why cant we call in?" he said walking over to her and wrapping his hands around her waist.

"Because baby we have a job to do and we have to do our exam with George today. Remember?"

"That is why I wanted to call in." he smiled.

"If we don't do it today El then we have to reschedule and I don't want to do that he was nice enough to see us. The least we can do is keep the appointment."

"Ok that sounds fair I guess."

"Thank you. Now I'm driving," Olivia said grabbing the keys from the hook.

"Umm ok this time," he said grabbing his suit jacket from the chair. And following her out the door.

XXX

Olivia and Elliot walked in to George's office. Olivia greeted him with a hug and Elliot with a hand shake.

"Thank you for seeing us George it means a lot to us." Olivia said sitting down.

"Of course Olivia, anything I can do to help. So you guys are here today, because they want to see if you can handle both your jobs and being a couple."

"Yea we think we can but we have to have it on paper." Elliot said.

"Yes as always. So why don't we go ahead and do these sessions separate that way we can determine where you both are as a person."

"I thought the point of this was to evaluate us as a couple."

"Yes Elliot it is but we have to make sure that you are stable. Not that you will last as a couple but will you jeopardize your job to be a couple? Will you be able to handle everything thrown at you as a couple while on the job? Will all this work out in the end? That is what I have to figure out. And I have to do it in sessions not a single one with you both. Now I would like to start with Olivia. So Elliot if you would wait out in the other room that would be appreciated."

Elliot looked at George with a sour face. He stood up. Leaned down and gave Olivia a kiss on the forehead and walked out.

"George I'm sorry about that Elliot is just tired of defending us. And you know how he is with doctors."

"Olivia it is quite alright there is no need to apologize. Now why don't we get started. Lets start from the beginning. When did you realized you loved Elliot?"

Olivia's face became soft. She smiled, "well honestly it was like love at first sight. Obviously there was an attraction. I think when I was told I was going to be working with him I was excited and then I seen the ring. And I was almost disappointed. But I also think that I was maybe a little relieved."

"Why were you relieved?"

"I think its because I didn't want to have to face the fact that I was attracted to him. I think that I was afraid he would never want to be with me."

"Why would he not want to be with you?"

"Because of all that I went through as a child. My mom told me that I was worthless, and I guess that I on some level believed it."

"When someone is told something their whole lives they begin to live and feel what they have been told. And its never the case." George said with an understanding look.

"With my mother it was always that I was worthless. Or that I was never going to amount to anything."

"But you have. That should have built your self worth a little."

"It did. But there was still a little voice in my head that reminded me that I was the worst thing that ever happened to her and that made me feel guilty."

"There was nothing that you could have done to have prevented it Olivia. You are the product of a rape not the cause of it."

"i know and now I have come to term with that. I know now that it was nothing I did that made my mother the way she was. I could have been the best daughter in the world, but it never would have mattered. I know that it would have not made a difference she still would have been an alcoholic. She still would have hated me. And I know that now. When it happened it hurt and it still does, but now I'm older and I know what she went through."

"Lets fast forward a little how did you feel when Kathy filed for divorce?"

"The first time?"

"Yes."

"Well I felt sad. And happy. Selfish. Depressed."

"Why were you sad?"

"My best friends marriage was falling apart. I was sad for him."

"And you why were you happy?"

"He was going to be single and we had grown over the years we were partners and friends and I thought that I would maybe have a chance to be with him. I felt selfish because I wanted the divorce to go through so that I could possibly tell him that I loved him. And I was depressed because I was being so selfish. I didn't care that his family was falling apart. That his life was over. All I cared about was that I wanted him. That I loved him."

"Why didn't you tell him then?"

"His divorce wasn't final and then even if it did go through it would have been too soon. And then it was too late. Kathy told him that she was pregnant. And that was that."

"How did you react to that?"

"At first it was just a shock. And then of course I was happy for Elliot because he was happy. But once again I knew that she was all wrong for him I knew that it would never last."

"Lets talk about your past relationships," George said making a couple notes on the pad of the paper in front of him.

"Can we skip that part?" Olivia said shifting in her seat.

"Olivia I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. But I do have one question and that's it. Why don't you want to talk about it?"

"I have had a lot of problems with men in the past. I am going on 47 years old and I can not say that I have had a successful relationship until now. I love Elliot. I think that I love him more for the fact that he is the longest relationship that I have ever had with a man. I have this feeling that it is because I didn't have a father figure in my life. My mother was always drunk so if there was a man that she brought home he was always gone by morning. And with what happened to her that made me a little untrusting of men. I have had plenty of relationships. But I think I secretly knew that they were all going to fail. And on some level I think I wanted them to fail. After I met Elliot I didn't want to have anyone but him. And even the men that I was with that called it off themselves I think that I subconsciously wanted them to fail so that he could be my knight in shining armor and come to save me from the heartache."

"And did he?"

"Yes he did."

"Why don't you tell me about that night when he told you he loved you."

"When I went to Sealview I was sexually assaulted." Olivia started, "when I got out only a few people knew. I didn't want to tell Elliot. I didn't want him to beat himself up. Three months ago it had been five years since it happened. And Elliot came over to check on me. He knew the whole time. I guess that even though I didn't tell him verbally he knew from my actions that something was off. Well one thing led to another and we ended up engaged the next day. And the next thing I know we were planning this life together."

"How do you feel about the way things were happening. It all seems fast."

"It was overwhelming and scary but we talked about it every step of the way. And I realized that this is the life that I wanted and that this is the life that I was meant to have. I just wish that I would have told him sooner. Maybe then we wouldn't be having a hard time conceiving."

"You are trying to have a baby?"

"I think we are. We want what I have waited so long for. A family. I love Elliot, George. And there is nothing that you say in those questions that will make me say less. I know that it seems like this is all going so fast. Trust me I have said that more times than I can count. But I know that this is what I want. And I know given the chance, we can make it work. We both love our jobs. I know that it says that we shouldn't be both partners and be in a relationship, but George we aren't doing anything different than before. The only difference is that now we go home together at the end of the day. We don't let our personal life hinder our professional life any more than usual. And we have been working together and living together for the last three months. Not one time have we gotten distracted."

"What about the colt case?"

"That was the fastest case I have ever solved." Olivia said furrowing her eyebrows.

"That was also the case that you released valuable information to a key witness."

"I know and I had a lot of things on my mind."

"What if that happens again?"

"It wont."

"How do you know that what it does. And what if the next time its not as innocent as last time."

"It wont happen again." Olivia said more firmly. "i know what I did was wrong I know that it was a mistake that should have never been made. And I know that it could have been a lot worse than it was and the fact that it wasn't doesn't excuse that it could have been."

"What if you get pregnant?"

"I can be on active duty until I'm six months. Then I can be on desk duty till I'm eight months and then I will go on maternity leave."

"How will Elliot react?"

"We will fight about it but its not like we haven't fought before. We have been partners for a long time. It was almost like we were together the whole time. We have loved each other for a long time the only difference is that we have admitted it to each other."

"Are you happy, Olivia?"

"George I have never been more happy in my life. I finally feel like I'm where I need to be. And when not if but when Elliot and I have our child my life will be complete."

"Have you thought of the possibility you may not be able to conceive?"

Olivia's eyes began to water. "i have," tears began to fall down her cheeks. "i don't want to face it. I love children and I have always wanted children but I didn't have the relationship to have a child. I didn't have the relationship because I was married to my job. And now that I have a relationship that I get to share with my job the thought of not having children just because of my age devistates me."

"Where would your life be then?"

"Honestly George I ask myself the same thing everyday. And I have yet to come up with an answer. I love Elliot and I know he loves me too. And I know he has five children and I can just do for them as I would as if they were my own but its just not the same feeling. I want my own child."

George was making more notes on his paper. "Olivia I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you have all that you deserve." he said standing up.

"Thank you George." Olivia said standing up. She walked over to him and gave him a hug. She then started for the door.

George followed.

Once they got out to the other room Elliot stood up and gave Olivia a hug and kissed on her forehead. "I guess its my turn?" Elliot said looking at George.

"If you could please come in and sit down Elliot we can get started." George said as they both walked in the office with the door shutting behind them.

"I have to tell you before we start that I think this is ridiculous that we have to go through this. Me and Olivia have been partners for years and now we have to be evaluated just because we are a couple. I don't like the idea of you doubting that we can do both be in a relationship and do our jobs. We have had relationships in the past and we never had to be evaluated. But because we are partners we do. I don't like it." Elliot stated when George sat in his seat behind the desk.

"Elliot there is no need to be defensive in here. I am completely neutral. I am here just to give my opinion on whether I think that your relationship will compromise your duty as a detective. I have to ask you a series of questions and I want you to answer as honestly as you can. Lets start with when did you first realize you loved Olivia?"

Elliot's face became soft. "It was love at first sight." he said with a smile. "When I first saw her she stole my heart. I know I was married and I know I had four children at the time, but there was just something about her that I knew that I was in the wrong marriage. I knew that this woman was the one I should be with. I knew that she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with."

"Why did you marry Kathy if you weren't in love with her?"

"We had a child on the way. I needed to be the man and I needed to step up. I had to do what was right for my family. It was bad enough that I had per-marital sex, but to have a child out of wedlock was a mortal sin. I couldn't face that. And I was young I didn't really know what love was. I thought I loved her until I met Olivia and then I realized that I had been living a lie my whole life."

"Why did you stay married if you realized you didn't love Kathy."

"I'm Catholic. Its a sin to be divorced. Once you are married that's forever."

"But you got a divorce?"

"That wasn't my choice. She filed for divorce. Not me."

"Why did she file for divorce?"

"She thought that I was having an affair with Olivia." Elliot said looking at his hands.

"But you weren't?"

"Of course not we were partners and that was it. I loved her yes but I would never have cheated on my wife. I wouldn't want to cause Kathy any heartache. I loved her. I just wasn't in love with her. She was not the woman that I could share my whole life with. I couldn't come home and talk about the case of a rapist with her. I couldn't come home and talk about a serial murderer with her. I felt like I would be tainting an innocent mind. I didn't want to be the window to evil for my family."

"So there was no communication at home?"

"We talked just not about work. I couldn't have them living in fear. I didn't want them to think that I wasn't going to be able to protect them from the evil I seen everyday. When I could and I did and I still do."

"Do you still have feelings for Kathy?"

"Of course I do she is the mother of my children. We were married for 20 years. Am I in love with her? No and I haven't been for a very long time."

"How is your current relationship with Kathy?"

"Perfect. We don't fight like we used to, we don't get as angry as we did. We are friends. We talk. We joke. We get along. Just like we should. We have five children together. We have to stay friends. And I wouldn't want it any other way. I thought we were here to talk about me and Olivia not me and Kathy."

"We are but you have to remember that I have to evaluate you as a person not you as a couple. So lets fast forward a little bit. How did you feel when Kathy filed for divorce?"

"I was devastated. I loved my family. I didn't want to break that up. I wanted to keep us all together. I didn't want to sign the papers but I knew I had to. I knew if I didn't then Kathy would grow to regret and loath me. I may not have been in love with her but I still cared about her. I still wanted to make it work."

"Because you thought that you were going to go to hell if you didn't?"

"No because she was the mother of my children and I couldn't bare seeing anything happen to her."

"When your divorce was final why didn't you tell Olivia that you loved her?"

"Because I had just went through a divorce. I wanted to be with Olivia. I did, but I wasn't ready and I couldn't admit that I loved her then. I couldn't even admit it to myself."

"Lets talk about Sealview."

"That never should have happened I should have been there. I should have saved her. It would have never gotten close to that far."

"But you weren't there. And you couldn't have saved her. You are religious. You know that if there is something that you have to go through then you are going to go through it there is nothing that you can do to stop it. It wasn't your fault."

"It is. I shouldn't have let her go. I should have stopped her. There must have been another way to get Harris she didn't have to go there."

"She made her own choices."

"Are you blaming her?"

"Elliot you know me better than that." George quickly snapped. "you know number one I would never want anything bad to happen to Olivia and you know that I would never wish what happened to her on anyone."

"I know and I apologize I just was trying to protect her."

"You cant always protect her Elliot."

"I can try my damnedest."

"Why didn't you ever tell Olivia that you knew what happened at sealview?"

"Because I wanted her to talk to me when she was ready. She had been through enough. I didn't want to push her over the edge when she had just been traumatized."

"Why did you choose the anniversary of the most horrific moment in her life to tell her you loved her?"

"Because I wanted her to remember that day for something good. Not what that bastard did."

"How did your ex wife take the news of you being with Olivia?"

"Better than we thought. She was nervous. But everyone was ok. We all worked it out and we all still talk on a regular basis."

"You have 5 children with Kathy, why do you think that you want another one with Olivia?"

"Because I know that she has never wanted anything more than a child. I know that she wants a family. She wants something she has never had before. And she deserves it. And I love her. I want her to be happy. And I want to have a child with her. I want to see the glow of motherhood on her face every morning when we wake up. I want to be the one that has to make those late night runs for pickles and ice cream. I want to give her any and everything that I possibly can. And I will. I love her. I love her more than anyone could possibly love another human being. She is the world to me."

"What if Olivia cant conceive?"

"We will try and try and try I want to have a baby and we will. We will adopt if she is unable to have children."

"And what if adoption isn't an option?"

"Its always an option. There is no reason that we couldn't have children."

"Age is a factor. You both are at an age where you should start to have grandchildren not children yourselves."

"Kathy was over 40 when she had Eli. There is nothing wrong with him. And we will be stable and we will have a home that is suitable for a child. There is no reason we wouldn't be accepted."

"What would you do if the results come back that either you have to split up as a couple or split up as a team?"

"I would be lost. Olivia is everything to me she is the reason I found strength to come to work all those years. She is what I know. We have been partners so long that it felt like we were in a relationship. I know her better than she knows herself and she knows me better than I know myself. She calms me. She inspires me to keep going. She is the reason I breath. I love her George. Have you ever loved anyone so much that you cant do anything with out them?"

"Haven't you ever heard time apart makes the heart grow fonder?"

"We have been apart long enough. And its not like we spend every waking minute together. She has her girl nights with Alex and Casey. I have guy nights with Fin and occasionally Munch. We know that too much time together causes problems. People need a release. And most people its when they go to work and with us working together we have to find another way. So we have set aside that extra time where we have me time. And we have made it work this long. We have made it work for 3 months why cant we make it work for 3 lifetimes?"

"Where are you guys as far as the wedding planning?"

"I'm not handling that part because if it was up to me we would have been married a long time ago. I don't want her to feel rushed. I told her when she wants to talk about it and plan it then I will sit down with her and we will talk about. When she is ready."

"Elliot do you think that any of this is going too fast?"

"Honestly George if it was up to me we would have been married the day we said I love you."

"With all that said Elliot I think we are done here. I will meet with you Olivia and Don later in his office. And we will go over the results."

"You cant just tell us now?"

"No its more complicated than that I'm afraid. I not only have to review everything I also have to make my findings official. You will know what is going on later in the day. It will be today for sure. I know that this is killing you not knowing what the the decision will be but I cant say anything until we are in the room with Don and I have it all in writing."

"You have a job to do and I understand that." Elliot said trying to keep his temper at bay. He knew that if he flew off the handle, it would just look bad and George could put negative marks in the report. He didn't think that George would but he wasn't wanting to take any chances. "well I also have a job to do so I think that we should get to doing it," he said standing up. "thank you George for everything." he extended his hand and George accepted.

"No problem Elliot, I have no problem helping when I can."

Elliot turned and walked out of the office.

XXX

Elliot and Olivia had a slow day.

Fin and Munch volunteered, to handle all cases for the day, so that Elliot and Olivia wouldn't be out on call when George showed up. Not that they were very busy either.

"Man I love days like this." Fin said leaning back in his seat.

"Just because we don't have a case doesn't mean ones not out there," Munch put in.

"Man why you gotta do that?"

"Its the truth Fin. I mean thousands upon thousands of sex crimes are happening everyday, just because we don't have a case doesn't mean one isn't happening." Elliot added.

"Its almost time for shift to end where is he?" Olivia said looking at the clock.

"He will be here baby. He gave me his word." Elliot replied.

Just then George walked down the hall and straight into Don's office.

Olivia stood up. She looked at Elliot with fear in her eyes.

Don walked out of his office. "El, Liv can you two come in here for a minute please."

Elliot walked over and grabbed Olivia's hand. "I love you baby, no matter what happens in here. We will stay together forever."

"I love you too baby. I really do. I'm scared."

They walked into Cragen's office. "sit please," Don said as they closed the door behind them.

They sat in the chairs in front of his desk. They scooted the chairs closer so that they could hold hands.

"I have good news and I have bad news." Don started. "which do you want first?"

"Good," Olivia quickly answered before Elliot had the chance.

"The good news is that the findings are that you are clear. You can stay partners and stay together."

"Then what is the bad?" Elliot asked confused.

"The bad is that I think that there should be a probation period." George started. "we cant risk what happened with the colt case to happen again so therefore we are going to be putting you on probation. If it happens again we will have to split you up no matter what."

"How long is this probation?" Olivia asked with tears in her eyes.

"Six months." George answered.

Just then Olivia felt sick. Her stomach rumbled so loud that Elliot looked over at her.

"Are you ok?" Elliot asked.

"I don't feel so good." Olivia said hunched over.

Don got up and walked over to her and rubbed her back. Trying to make the sudden sickness go away.

Just then Olivia spewed all over dons shoes. Not just once but three times. Once she was done, she looked up at Don with tears running down her face. "I am so sorry captain. I don't know what happened it was like I couldn't control it."

"Don't worry about it Olivia I didn't like these shoes anyway." Don said with a light smile. "Olivia are you pregnant?" He asked leaning down to eye level with her.  
"No..." she paused. "I just took a test this morning, it was negative."

"Well I think that you should see your doctor. Sometimes home pregnancy test give false negatives." George replied.

"And if you are pregnant we need to know right away." Don stated. "when you know we need to know."

"Yes captain." Olivia said. "I think that its just the nerves that I have had all day waiting for the results I think that I will be fine. Like I said I just too the test this morning. I said no. and I have taken a test every day this week I don't think that I'm pregnant. I just think that its from all the excitement."

"Well I still think that we should listen to the captain Liv. I think that you need to find out for sure." Elliot said squeezing Olivia's hand.

"Now Elliot get her home. She needs to rest." Don said. "and Olivia I mean it rest and then I want you to take tomorrow off and I want you to go the doctor."

Olivia nodded as Elliot helped her out of the office.

XXX

After all the excitement earlier Olivia decided to call and leave a message for her family doctor. Asking if they had an appointment for the next day and to call her back as soon as possible.

Olivia and Elliot sat cuddled on the couch.

"El," Olivia said quietly.

"Yea baby?"

"I love you."

"I love you too. Whats wrong? Are you feeling sick again?"

"No I just wanted to make sure that you knew that. I don't want to get my hopes up with this whole baby thing just yet because I have been taking so many tests. But I can t help to think that there is a baby Stabler in there." she said placing her hands on her stomach.

"I want there to be a little Stabler in there too baby." Elliot said. "and I know that it is hard not to be excited. But we will find out whats going on when you go to the doctor."

"I know. But I'm scared. What if I go tomorrow and they tell me that I cant have a baby?"

"Then we will go right to Alex and see what we can do to start looking into adoption."

Olivia rose up and looked at him. "You mean that?"

"I know that you want a baby and I want to give it to you. And if we cant have one of our own we will adopt one. We help kids all the time that have to be put in the system Liv. Why cant we help one get out. And we can still raise them and they will be ours."

Olivia smiled. "I love you so much." She said a single tear running down her right cheek. "I just want to make you happy. I want to make us happy and I know that this is what will do that. That is why I want a baby Elliot. I want a baby because that is the only thing we don't have to make our lives complete. I know that you have other children, but I want one that we can call ours. Just one... I would be happy with that. I am not saying that I'm not open to adopting because I am. I would love to and we still can even if we have one child. We can adopt just because we both love children and we want to get them out of a bad situation. But I still want to try for one of our own. If they say that we are going to have a hard time conceiving then I will take fertility drugs if I have to. If that is what it takes. All I know is that I want us to have a family. I want to be like the families we see on the television. I want to be Mrs. Clever."

Elliot snickered, "Baby you will never be Mrs. Cleaver."

"Thanks El, I want to give you the life like they had with the picket fence and everything. And I cant that's really reassuring."

"Baby you read it all wrong. You will never be Mrs. Clever because that's not you. You are not the type to sit at home all day while the man goes to work. You are the type to kick ass. And that's one of the things I love about you. I love that you don't know how to bake a pie. I love the fact that I have to make sure that the food is eatable before I put in my mouth because that is what makes you you. I know you want a family but the Cleavers are not us we are more like the Bings."

"The Bings?" Olivia questioned. "How are we like the Bings?"

"Well we were friends for years before we fell in love. And now we are going to be married and we have wonderful friends to support us."

"Yes well there is a little flaw in your comparison." Olivia said smiling big.

"Whats that?"

"Chandler is funny. You are so not funny." she said smirking.

"Oh really? I'm not funny?" he said as he began tickling her.

Olivia was laughing hysterically. "stop El." she begged through the laughter.

"Am I still not funny?" he teased still tickling her.

"Please El. Please." she begged again.

He stopped.

As her laughter started to calm down she kissed him passionately. "i want to marry you."

"That's why I put that ring on your finger baby because I want to marry you too."

"Lets move the wedding up. Lets have it next month."

Elliot's face became serious. "are you sure?" He asked.

"Yes. I want to be Mrs. Elliot Stabler. I cant wait any longer."

"Ok baby well we have the money. I have been putting money away from each check since about 3 months before we got together." Elliot said.

"Really?" Olivia questioned a little shocked.

"Why are you so shocked?"

"Because its as if you knew that we were meant to be together."

"That's because I did know that we were meant to be together. Olivia when George was asking me all those questions I just wanted to stop him and tell him that I know that we can make it work. I wanted to tell him that if they didn't like that we were in love than they could kiss my ass. And I most of all wanted to tell him that just because a piece of paper said that we werent going to be partners and lovers that doesn't mean that we would have stopped. I love you so much that I want you in every aspect of my life. I want you in the good and the bad. And today I thought was going to be pretty bad. I have known that we were going to be together since the day that I met you. When my eyes seen the beauty and grace that your presence held, I was left breathless. My heart wanted to stop. I had never felt like that before. I have felt like that everyday since. And I know that I will feel like that until the day that I die. And nothing that anyone says or thinks that they can do will change that. You are my soul mate. You are my forever."

"Aww I love you baby." Olivia gave Elliot a kiss. "do me one favor."

"Anything baby," Elliot responded.

"Can you pass me the remote?" Olivia asked with a laugh.

Elliot handed her the remote. They cuddled once again.

Olivia flipped through the channels for a moment and settled on one of her favorite television shows. Not that she had much time to watch television, but when she did she would always watch the same thing. It was either anything that was on Lifetime, or TVland, and Friends. She loved the fact that Elliot remembered and compared them to Chandler and Monica earlier. He remembered that it was her all time favorite show. Although she always thought that they were more of the Geller-Green pair herself, the fact that he remembered was sweet.

After three episodes of silence Elliot's arm was falling asleep. "Baby," he started. He quickly realized that she was asleep and decided that it was worth the numbing sensation in his arm that would be left sore in the morning, just so that he didn't have to wake her up.

XXX

The next morning Elliot awoke with Olivia still sound asleep on top of him all cuddled up. He grabbed his phone of the coffee table and checked the time. 7:30.

"Liv, baby wake up." he said lightly shaking her. "Liv honey its 7:30 I have to get ready for work."

Olivia stirred in her sleep. "I love you Alexis. Mommy loves you." she said still sound asleep.

Elliot's heart began to flutter. She was dreaming of their child. A little girl.

_Alexis, _he thought, _what a beautiful name. _

"Olivia honey wake up I have to go to work." he said lightly nudgging her again.

Olivia's eyes opened, "do you have to go to work? Cant you stay here with me forever?"

"Well I would love to honey but you have to go to the doctors and I have to go to work captians orders."

"I know that doesn't mean I like it." She said with a pouting face. She stood up and looked at her phone. It was now 7:45.

Elliot stood up off the couch and stretched his arms out. "You know as much as I love the feeling of cuddling and as cute as you are when you fall asleep on me like that I don't think that we can do that very often."

"I have a voice mail." Olivia said dialing the phone. She listened to the message and hung up. "i have a doctor appointment at 2:30."she said.

"Great," Elliot responded.

"No not great cause Don wont let me back to work until I go to the doctor so there for I am stuck here to twiddle my thumbs all day."

"Well look on the bright side at least you can go back to sleep and dream about our beautiful daughter again."

Olivia looked a little shocked. "How do you know what I dreamed?"

"You were talking in your sleep." Elliot said with a grin.

"How much did I say?"

"Just that our daughters name is going to be Alexis."

"Oh ok."

"Why?" Elliot asked confused.

"No reason."

"Liv?"

"Well I dreamt that you left us. And I had to tell our daughter why." Olivia said looking sad.

"Liv that will never happen. I have waited too long to have you in my life to leave you. And I would never leave our child."

"It wasn't by choice Elliot. You were murdered."

Elliot's face softened. "Baby," he walked over and wrapped her in a hug. "I know that it can happen. I would be stupid to say that I didn't realize the dangers we face everyday. And I know that I cant promise that nothing will happen to me but I can promise to be safe. I can promise that I will be cautious."

"I know El," she said as she started to cry, "but I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you."

"Liv, I will do my best to be safe."

"What if your best isn't good enough?" She quickly snapped. She wrapped her self tighter around him and buried her face in his chest.

"Liv look at me."

She didn't move.

"Liv, baby, look at me." He repeated.

"What," she said looking up.

Elliot cupped her face with his hands. "We can do this. We can make it passed this. We can win. All we have to do is believe baby."Elliot took his thumbs and wiped the tears that were falling from her eyes. "We both know what we signed up for. We both know what can happen while we are on the job. And we both knew what that meant when we got together. We both risk our lives everyday. And we both stress about the other. Do you think for one second that I don't worry about you every time you put that gun and badge on? Because I do. Liv, you are my whole world. With out you there is nothing left for me. Even before we were together you were my everything. When ever you would go out on a case alone, or decide to go undercover, or even just simply walk home alone all that ran through my head was that I needed you back. And you always came back and if at all possible so will I."

Tears were now pouring from Olivia's eyes.

"You are I care about Liv."

"Its just that when I'm both at work that means that I cant protect you."

"Liv baby, I can protect myself. And I promise you that if I have to go anywhere today even the coffee shop I will take Fin with me, ok?does that make you feel better?"

She nodded her head.

"Are you ok?"

She nodded again.

"Ok I have to get ready for work now." he kissed her forehead. "I love you baby."

"I love you too."

When Elliot walked out of the bedroom fully showered and dressed, Olivia had a bountiful breakfast waiting for him.

By the time he finished eating his food it was time for him to head to work. He kissed his fiancee goodbye. Before he walked out the door he assured her once again that he would be fine.

XXX

Olivia sat in the waiting room of her doctor's office.

"Benson," a nurse said walking through the door beside the check-in window.

Olivia stood up and followed her down a hallway.

"Ok we will be in exam room 4." the lady said, opening the door.

Olivia walked in behind her and sat on the bed.

"I'm Jennifer ill be your nurse what brings you in today?"

"Well I haven't been feeling well. No fever, no headache, no pain. Just upset stomach and vomiting."

"Are you pregnant?"

"Well I have been taking a test everyday this week and I have had all negatives." Olivia explained.

Jennifer was taking notes on her clip board. "and when was your last menstrual cycle?"

"The 14th of last month."

"Have you had any spotting or unusual discharge?"

"No."

"Frequent or urgent urination?"

"Not really."

"Ok." she made more notes on the clip board.

"Have you eaten anything out of the ordinary in the last week?"

"Nope. Look can I be honest with you?" Olivia said frankly.

"Of course." Jennifer said putting her clipboard aside.

"I only came here so that I could go back to work. My boss said not to come back without a clean bill of health. You see yesterday I was under a lot of stress and I uhh... kinda accidentally threw up all over his shoes. He told me to come here to make sure I wasn't pregnant. Apparently five negatives from home tests ain't good enough. So if we could just skip past all the routine stuff and get right to the test so that I can go back to work that would make my life a lot easier."

"Well I have to check your vitals and then yea that is fine we can get a test going and we will be able to write out weather you are pregnant or not so that you can take it to your boss." Jennifer said with a smile.

Jennifer took all of olivias vitals and walked out of the room. Once she returned she had a clear plastic cup. "Only thing I need you too do is pee in this cup and we can get the test going."

"That's great." Olivia said as she hopped from the bed.

She walked into the bathroom and did as she was told.

When she walked back into the exam room she didn't see Jennifer. Instead it was a woman with short brown hair. And she wasn't in the bubbly scrubs like Jennifer, she was in a white lab coat.

"Hello Olivia I'm Dr. Yorkshore. Now lets see if we can get the show on the road." She said with a smile as she took the cup from Olivia.

Olivia went and sat on the table.

The doctor pulled out a kit from the counter, "so Olivia have you been trying to conceive?"

"Yes but like I told Jennifer I have had 5 negatives in a row. One everyday this week so I'm really just here to get it on paper that I'm not pregnant."

"Well I'm sorry but I cant do that." she said turning around.

Olivia's heart sank, "what do you mean?"

"Well I mean that I just got 3 positive results Olivia congratulations you are in fact pregnant."

"Are you sure?" Olivia asked still not sure if she believed it.

"I'm quite sure. I did the test 3 times and I got the same result each time."

Olivia's eyes began to well up. "I'm pregnant?"

"Yes you most certainly are. Now I'm going to go get you a couple prescriptions. One is for a prenatal vitamin and the other is to calm your stomach." Dr. Yorkshore said before leaving the room.

_I cant wait to tell Elliot. Yes I can. I have to. I have to make one stop before I can tell anyone. I have to do this. I have to do it for my baby. And for Elliot. I know that it will mean a lot to him. Then I will tell him. As soon as I get done I will rush to the station and tell everyone together. That's just what I will do I will tell my whole family together._

XXX

Olivia turned off her phone and placed it in her purse. She sat it beside her. She heard the sliding of the divider.

"Forgive me Father for I have sinned."

**A/N: well there you go... It has been forever since I updated and I am truly sorry but I wrote it had it almost done and realized I didn't like it. And that was at page 12. so I tried to change somethings around. I hope you like it! please review :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable.**

**A/N:**

Olivia walked out of the church. She felt better. Her nose was red from crying and her eyes were dry and puffy. She didn't think that she would get as emotional as she did. It shocked her. She didn't think that going in there that she would feel as relieved as she did. There were just some things she had to get off her chest. She now knew why Elliot said she would feel better if she would just let it all out.

She grabbed her phone and turned it on. She had 10 missed calls, and 12 new text messages. They were all from Elliot. She looked at the time. It was 8:13. She had been at the church for 4 hours.

_He is probably worried sick. Should I c__all him and let him know that I'm ok?_ She found his number in her phone under Huggy Bear. She just had to do was press talk and she decided that she would just wait until she go home that was the best thing to do. He didn't need to hear her cry over the phone. She rushed to her car. She had to get home and tell Elliot about the wonderful news.

**XXX**

Olivia walked through the door to her apartment. Elliot stood up and turned around.

He was on the phone. "She's here I'll call you later. Thanks again man." He hung up the phone. "Where the hell have you been? I have been trying to get a hold of you all day."

"I went to the doctor. And then I had to make a stop before I came home. If I thought it was going to take as long as it did I would have called. I shut my phone off when I left the doctors." she walked over to him grabbed his hand and sat him down on the couch.

"Where were you?" Elliot asked concerned.

"I went to church."

"What?" Elliot said stunned.

"I went to confess my sins."

"Why what did you do?"

She looked him in the eyes. "I'm having a baby out of wedlock." she said with a smile on her face.

"What?" That was all that he could say.

"Elliot we are going to have a baby!" Olivia exclaimed.

"Oh my god." He wrapped Olivia in a hug. "I love you. Baby oh my god. You could not have made me a happier person."

"I love you too baby. I'm so excited."

Elliot placed both hands on Olivia's cheeks and pulled close into a kiss. It was long, slow, and filled with more passion than any kiss they have ever experienced.

Olivia moved her hands from her lap to around Elliot's neck.

He moved his from hands from her cheeks to her waist. She climbed on top of him and he leaned back on the couch. She broke the kiss and led a trail of suckles to his neck. He leaned his head back so she could have better access. She moved from his neck and began to suck on his earlobe.

He ran his hands from her waist to her ass. And began rubbing in circular motions.

Then she stopped. She looked at him. "Elliot, we can't do this right now."

"What do you mean?" He asked raising his head to look at her.

"Well I just don't want to take any chances."

"Honey the baby will be fine. Think about it. If you found out that means that you are at least four weeks along. And we have been having sex every day for eight weeks. So therefore we have been going at it for the entire time that you have been pregnant baby."

"Elliot I'm at a higher risk. I don't want to take any chances."

"Liv, baby, I promise you nothing will happen. We don't have to do anything I just want to put your mind at ease. Sex will not harm the baby. I have 5 children. Kathy was pregnant with Eli when she was over 40 and we had sex almost the entire time she was pregnant."  
"With all the problems that I had conceiving I don't want to risk it. I love you, and I love having sex with you. But I just don't want to risk anything. I might change my mind later on in the pregnancy but right now I would just feel better if we waited."

"That's fine baby." Elliot said. "I would not want you to feel uncomfortable. Do you want to go out? We can celebrate."

"That would be nice."

"Where do you want to go?"

"It doesn't matter baby. Anywhere would be nice. I just feel like I need to be around other people. I don't know how I'm going to be alone with you and not take advantage of you."

Elliot leaned up and kissed her passionately.

"I love you Elliot."  
"I love you too."

Olivia kissed him again. This time she pushed him back against the couch again. "Elliot," she said through a kiss. "I want you."

"I want you too."

There was a knock on the door. Olivia looked up. She was breathing heavily. "I'll get it." she said climbing off of Elliot.

"I have to go to the bathroom," he said as she walked to the door.

She opened it and she couldn't believe what she saw. It was Kathleen. She looked like she was just attacked. She was crying, her clothes were a mess, and there was dirt all over her.

"Kathleen honey what's wrong. What happened?"

"Can I come in please." she said with her head down.  
"Of course." Olivia said moving to the side to allow Kathleen to walk in.

Kathleen walked over to the couch and sat down.

Olivia shut the door and followed, sitting on the couch beside her.

"What happened?"

Kathleen just sobbed.

Olivia placed her hand on Kathleen's back to try and sooth her. But as soon as she made contact Kathleen cringed.

There was nothing but silence and sobs. After about five minutes Elliot returned.

"Who was at the..." He started. Then he saw Kathleen sitting on the couch crying. "Kathleen oh my god what happened?" Elliot asked running over to her and kneeling in front of her.

Kathleen took a deep breath. She collected her thoughts and began to speak, "I just need to talk to Olivia. Please dad."

Elliot stood up, looked at Olivia. She looked at him with knowing eyes.

They both had a feeling they knew what had happened. Neither wanted to admit it but they both knew that they had to be there and help her through whatever it is that happened.

"That's fine honey I'll go into the other room." he said as he walked away.

When Elliot was gone, Olivia looked back at Kathleen. "Kathleen, honey I need to know what happened," Olivia said as un-detective as she could. She wanted to sound concerned, not like she was working. Although, she had a hunch this would become her case.

Kathleen began to sob once again. She then looked up at Olivia. Her makeup was running down her face, her eyes were puffy and red. "I was raped."

Olivia's heart immediately sank. Her eyes filled with tears instantly. "Kathleen we have to get you to the hospital." Olivia said, trying not to sound too shaken up. She didn't want Kathleen to freak out. She had to stay strong. She had to keep her composure.

"Olivia please, don't tell my dad." Kathleen said. "I don't want him to see me like this. I don't want him to know what happened."

"Honey for right now all I'm going to tell him is that I'm taking you to the hospital." Olivia went to stand up but Kathleen grabbed her arm.

"Please Olivia." she begged. "Please I will do whatever has to be done I just don't want him to know. He can't know please Olivia please." she began to sob once again.

_What do I do? _Olivia thought to herself._ If I don't tell Elliot he will be hurt and angry. If I do tell him she will never tru__st me again. Well I could always tell him once we get to the hospital. That is most important; I have to get her to the hospital._

"Ok I won't tell your dad. But I have to tell him something."

"Can't you just tell him that you are going to take me to get something to eat so we can talk or something?"

"I'll figure it out, honey but right now my concern is just getting you to the hospital."

"Ok."

And with those words Olivia walked into the bedroom where Elliot was sitting on the bed.

"We are going to go out for coffee and talk. Maybe grab a bite to eat. Do you want me to bring anything back for you?" Olivia felt so guilty lying to him. But what choice did she have? If she told him the truth he would rush out there and then Kathleen would never trust Olivia again and she wouldn't go to the hospital.

"No I'm good. Did she tell you anything?" Elliot asked looking concerned and depressed all at once.

"We will talk when I get home. Right now I have to go. I'll bring you something back. I don't know what time I'll be home but I'll text you and let you know if it's going to be too late."

"Ok." Elliot responded.

Olivia leaned down and gave Elliot a quick kiss.

"I love you." He said.

"I love you too." She answered and walked out of the bedroom.

**XXX**

Most of the car ride was silent.

Once they got into the parking lot of the hospital Olivia found the nearest parking place and pulled in. They just sat there in silence.

"Is this really happening?" Kathleen asked breaking the silence.

"Kathleen, luckily I know a lot of people who can keep this as quiet as possible. But I really wish you would tell your father."

"I can't." Kathleen cried out.

"Kathleen he loves you. This is going to crush him. But do you know what is going to crush him even more? The fact that you didn't go to him with it, he needs you to tell him."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"Because he will kill him." She said through her tears.

Olivia furrowed her brow. "Kathleen do you know who did this to you?"

"No but I know that my dad will find him. And I know that when he does he will kill him. And then he will go to jail. I just don't want him to do anything stupid."

"Why don't we get in here and get this over with?" Olivia said placing her hand on Kathleen's.

"Olivia is there anyway one of your friends could do this? I would just feel more comfortable if there was someone in there I could trust. Anyone you trust I trust."

"I'll make a call." Olivia said pulling out her phone. She dialed the number and placed the phone to her ear. "Hey Melinda I need a favor."

**XXX**

Melinda placed the last bit of evidence she collected for the rape kit together.

"Ok we are all done here. Kathleen I need to speak to Melinda for a moment ok?"

Kathleen relaxed in the bed. She shook her head to answer Olivia's question.

Olivia and Melinda walk over to the side to talk alone.

"When is Elliot going to get here?" Melinda said taking off her gloves and disposable apron and throwing them in the trash bin.

Olivia sighed heavily, "he's not." she said

"I can't believe it. Is he in jail?"

"No. Kathleen doesn't want him to know."

"Olivia you have to tell him."

"I will but I had to get her here before she changed her mind. I felt so guilty lying to him. But I had no choice. If I was to tell him she would never trust me again. But if I don't then he will be furious with me. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and I have no idea how to get out. I know that telling him is the right thing to do. I know that I have to do that. But I really just wanted her to get here so that she could get the rape kit done. We can take care of the rest later."

"Well Elliot's not going to be able to work the case so I mean it will have to come from you or her."

"Were there fluids?" Olivia asked referring to the samples Melinda took for the kit.

Melinda gave a heavy sigh, "Olivia I can't tell you that you are not supposed to be working this case."

"Melinda as of right this second me and you are the only two who know anything now you can tell me was there any fluids?"

"Yes." Melinda said quietly.

"I have to call Cragen. They have to let me have this case. I'll partner with Fin or Munch if I have to." Olivia pulls out her cell phone she sees that she has 3 missed calls from Elliot.

_Is this when I tell him? Should I call and tell him that his daughter__ is in the hospital? Should I take her statement? I just need to call Don and see what he thinks I should do._

She dialed Don's number.

_"Cragen."_

"Captain I have a serious problem and I need you here."  
_"Where are you Olivia?"_

"I'm at Mercy General. Please Don this is a favor I need you down here and I need you here as soon as possible and as quite as possible. Please."

_"I'm on my way."_

Olivia hung up the phone and walked back over to her soon to be step daughter.

"How are you feeling?"

"As good as I can I guess. Did she find everything she needs to find out who this guy is?" Kathleen asked looking hopeful.

"Yes," Olivia replied with a sympathetic smile. "Have you thought about what I told you?"

"About telling my dad?"

"Yes."

"I just know that he will kill whoever did this. And I know that he will go to jail and I know that he won't think twice about it and that scares me. I don't want to be the reason that Eli doesn't get to have a father in his life. He's only five Liv. He needs dad. I need you right now. I need someone I can trust."

Olivia's eyes well up.

"Kathleen I have to tell you something." Olivia sat in the chair beside her bed. She leaned further in facing Kathleen. "Kathleen I have to tell your father. If you don't I will. It's not that I don't love you or that I am trying to lie or anything like that. I am telling you this because I want you to make the decision. If you want to tell him but you are too scared then I can be there with you. I can even tell him and make him calm down first I don't know but honey he has to know. Someone has to tell him and I don't want to have to do it but if you won't I will."

"I can't believe you are saying that Olivia. I have done everything that you said I have to do. I did the damn rape kit which felt more violating than the actual rape. I just don't want to have my dad look at me different. I just want him to see me as me not a victim."

"But Kathleen you are going to need all the support you can and I am going to be there with you 100% of the time but I just think that your father should know. I love you like I would if you were my own child and I hope and pray that you make the right choice and the right choice is to tell him what happened. He will love you the same and we won't treat you like a victim. But honey whether you want to be or not you are. I love you and I know that you don't want to hear that but the reality is that you have to. You are going to have to tell a dozen people what happened. And they are going to have to hear it over and over and the ADA will have to hear it and it's going to hurt each time. But honey I'm going to be there for you each time you tell anyone, if you want me to be."

"Olivia I want you there. I want you with me through all of this. That is why I came to you. I want you to help me. I know that you can because it's your job. I know that I could come to you even if it wasn't your job but it is. I love you too but I'm still unsure about telling my dad. Olivia you have to understand my hesitation."

"I do understand because I didn't tell him either."

"What do you mean?"

"Kathleen 5 years ago I was sexually assaulted. A man thought that he was going to rape me. Luckily enough it didn't get that far someone came and stopped it but it was enough to cause damage."

"How did it happen?"

"I was undercover at a prison and the guard thought he could take advantage of me. And he did. He over powered me. He had me handcuffed to a door when another undercover detective came to the rescue. It scarred me for months. I started having flash backs and at one point I held a gun to a man's head because I had a flash back. I had to get help. And I did. I went to therapy and I talked to someone. But the point of it all is that I didn't tell your dad. I didn't tell him because I was protecting him. I didn't want him to feel like it was his fault. I didn't want him to go to jail for protecting me. So I didn't tell him and looking back I wish I did. I needed him. I needed a shoulder to cry on. And I didn't have one."

"I will tell him. But only if you're there too, I don't want do it alone."

"Then I'm right there. No questions asked."

There was a moment of silence.

"Kathleen, I have to ask. I know that you don't want to recall what happened but I have to know. You need to tell me." Olivia added.

Kathleen began to cry. "I was walking home from a little corner market a couple blocks from my apartment. I normally stick to the normal route. But I was in a hurry. Jason was waiting for me to get back well I didn't want him to worry because I took a little longer at the store than I would normally. I cut down an alley. I knew better. I should have just stuck to the normal route. I never should have gone down that alley. But I was so excited to get home that I just wanted to get there. When I was about half way through the alley this guy came out from behind the dumpster. At first he just asked me if I had a cell phone he could use. He said he was mugged and needed to call home and the cops." Kathleen was sobbing.

Olivia just listened. She didn't want to interject thinking that Kathleen might stop.

"I just kept walking knowing better. It's not that he was a stranger it was more that we were alone in a dark alley and there was no one around. The moment I was in front of him he grabbed me and pushed me to the ground. I tried to fight him off but he over powered me. He held me down and he raped me." She was sobbing uncontrollably.

Olivia stood up and wrapped her in a hug.

"I shouldn't have gone down that alley. I should have just stuck to the way I always go." Kathleen cried into Olivia's shoulder.

"It's ok. You are safe now. I'm right here. I'm not going to let anything happen. Shhhhh" Olivia tried to comfort her. She stroked her hair and began to rock her. "Shhhh its ok Kathleen."

There was a knock on the door.

Olivia steps back, "come in," she says.

Don Cragen walked through the door.

"Don, this is Kathleen Stabler." Olivia introduces. "Elliot's daughter."

"What happened?" Don asked noticing that she was still sobbing uncontrollably.

"Kathleen I'm going to go talk to Don. I'll be right over here." Olivia said pointing across the room.

Olivia and Cragen walked to where Kathleen couldn't hear them.

"Look I need this case Don."

"Olivia what happened?" He asked with his voice full of concern.

Tears began to fall down Olivia's face. "She was raped."

Don's eyes widened and his mouth fell open. "Liv, you can't work this case you are engaged to her father. You are too close. I will personally work it. Me and Munch will drop all that we have going on and I will make sure that this gets worked 24/7. I will not rest until it is solved. Now we have to tell Elliot, Olivia. He has to know he is her father."

"I know Don but she has to be the one to tell him. She said she would as long as I am there with her. And I think that she will. I just don't want to wait any longer. And I think that we have to go there as soon as we are done here or I'm not going to have the nerve to do it. I just can't bare to see him hurt. Now you know that you are going to have to put a tail on Elliot. Because if he knows what is going on, he will kill him. And it's bad enough that this is happening let alone another tragedy striking with the father of my unborn child going to jail." Olivia slipped. She didn't want to tell him this way. She wanted to be a joyous moment not one of necessity.

Don's mouth hung open. "So you are pregnant?"

"Don I didn't want to have to tell you like this it just kinda came out. Yes I am. But that is not what is important. What is important is the fact that my step-daughter is lying in there in a hospital bed, and her rapist is running free. I have to get the nerve to tell Elliot. He's not going to be happy that he can't work the case and you know that he will anyway whether you know it or not. He will try all he can do kill this guy."

"I will call him if you want and tell him that he needs to get down here."

"No I think it would be best if I called him. I just don't know how to tell him. It's always hard to tell the parents but it is always harder when you know the parent."

"What about Kathy?" Don asked.

"Honestly and selfishly I never thought about her. I will talk to Kathleen and let her decide what we should do when it comes to Kathy. The only reason I convinced her to tell Elliot is because she told me and that would make more problems at home with me knowing and not telling him. I could cause us to fight and as I told her if she didn't tell him that was something I couldn't keep from him. I would have to tell him. It would be my duty as his partner and as his fiancé to tell him. But when it comes to Kathy that is all on her. I will be there to support her. And if she wants me to I will be there when she tells her but she has to decide." Olivia didn't like the idea of keeping something like this from Kathy any more than she did Elliot, but there are just certain things that she wouldn't be able to keep from Elliot. She felt bad that Kathleen trusted her with this and not her own mother. But she always told all of the children, multiple times, that they could always come to her with something that they didn't want to go to their parents about. Why should that stop just because they are over the age of 18?

Just then Olivia's phone rang. She looked at the caller id. It was Elliot. "I have to answer it."

She slid her finger across the screen and held it to her ear. "Hello."

_"He__y where are you?"_

"Umm El I am going to need you to not over react when I tell you this." She said into the phone as calmly as she could.

_"Liv what's wrong is everything ok?"_

She took a deep breath. "I am going to need you to come down here to Mercy General. There is something you need to know."

_"Is the baby ok? Are you ok?"_

"I am fine and the baby is fine but I need you down here. Please just…. Please El we will talk about it when you get here."

_"Is it Kathleen?"_

"Please Elliot. Just get down here. I don't want to do this over the phone."

_"I'm on my way. I love you."_

"I love you too." She hung up the phone and placed it in her pocket.

She looked up at Don. "Why is that man so stubborn?"

"How is Kathleen holding up?" Don asked, his voice full of concern.

Olivia looked back at her soon-to-be step daughter. "She seems to be doing better, but I know that as soon as Elliot gets here she is going to break down again. I do think we should get over there though." Olivia said.

Olivia and Don walked over to Kathleen who was still sitting in the hospital bed.

Kathleen looked up.

"Kathleen, Don is going to be working your case. He is our captain, and he will make sure that everything is taken care of. Now I know that this is going to be hard. Trust me I really do. But you have to tell him what happened." Olivia said as calmly as she could. She was going to cry. She could feel it. "Now your father is on his way too. And I couldn't lie to him. He wanted to know why we weren't answering our phones so I told him that he needed to get down here. I didn't tell him why. You are going to do that. But either way you have to tell him and Don."

"Why would you tell my dad to come down here? The whole reason that I didn't want to tell him is because I didn't want him to see me like this. I don't want him in here. I never should have come in the first place. I should have just went home. Me and Jason would have figured it out. I think I should go." Kathleen uncovered her body, got off the bed, and began to gather her clothes.

"Kathleen I had no choice. I had to do this. I had to tell him we were here." Olivia said trying to get her to stop. "Kathleen please." She begged.

Kathleen continued to search for her things.

"Kathleen STOP." Olivia shouted. "Please just please wait. Please just let us do our job. Let us find the guy that did this to you. We need to find him."

"Why Olivia? So he can't hurt me? Well it's too late for that now isn't it." Kathleen said angrily.

Olivia looked taken back, "Kathleen I know you were hurt but that was not fair. I had no way to stop that and I would hope that you know that if I did have that power that I would have. Kathleen I have known you almost your whole life. I love you as if you were my own child. I would never want anything to happen to you."

Kathleen looked at Olivia. Tears were running down both of their cheeks.

"I'm sorry Olivia. I just…. I just don't know what to do. I never thought this would happen to me. I am completely lost I feel like everyone is out to get me."

Olivia embraced Kathleen in a tight hug.

"We are all here to help you Kathleen. We all want this sick son of a bitch locked away. And I know that you didn't want your father to see you like this but like I said before, he needs to know. He needs to know that you are ok. He is going to be there and support you. I know he will. And you know he will." She pulled away to look Kathleen in the eyes. "Do you want me to call Jason?"

"No I will talk to him when I get home."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"Please."

Just then Elliot ran in the room. He ran over to Kathleen and Olivia and wrapped them in the tightest hug he could.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked through his tears. "I would have come with you. I would have been here."

"Daddy…. I didn't want you to see me like this." Kathleen sobbed still wrapped tightly in her father's arms.

"Kathleen this is not your fault. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Honey you don't need to do this alone. I promise you we will get this guy. We will get him. This will not be an unsolved case I will do everything to make sure he pays for what he has done to my little girl. I love you baby."

Kathleen continued to sob.

"Shhhhh…. Its ok baby daddy is here."

"I don't want to interrupt but Munch is on his way and we are going to need her statement." Don said from the corner.

"Captain I have to work this case." Elliot said.

"Elliot you know I can't do that. You and Olivia are too close to the case. But I promise you both that there will be no room for any slack I will make sure that this is handled."

"Captain please."

"Elliot my hands are tied. I would if I could but they would have my badge if I let you. There is no way around it. She is your daughter. I can't."

Elliot released Olivia and Kathleen. He walked over to Don. "Don, off the record let me work this case."

"Elliot anything you find out would be dismissed in court you know that. Then it would all be for nothing."

"Don I have to catch this guy. That is my little girl. That is my baby. I have to…. I have to…. Please."

Don looked at Elliot for a second. "Elliot, I can't. Because if I were to let you work it. Then when we did find the guy he would have better chance of walking. I can't do it Elliot. I just can't. If you want this case to be closed then you have to let me and Munch handle it. We will do more than we have the power to in order to make sure that this is taken care of. You have to trust me."

"I do but that is my baby…. I have to protect her. If I don't no one will."

"I will." Don said looking Elliot in the eyes.

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this up but I had to get a new computer before I could put it up….. ****The**** other one was useless…. Well I hope you liked it…. Please review…**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable. **

Elliot, Kathleen, Olivia and Jason sat in the living room of Kathleen's apartment. Olivia was sitting on one side of Kathleen and Jason on the other, with Elliot across from them.

"Jason I love you can you please forgive me?" Kathleen pleaded.

"Baby none of this is your fault." He said holding her in his arms. He looked over at Elliot. "Please tell me you already have this asshole in custody. Because I will find him and I will kill him."

"We don't… but trust me we will find him and this will not be taken lightly. This is my baby. She is my little girl. And I will not let this guy get away with this. I promise you both." Elliot said getting choked up.

"Jason I think that the best thing right now is that Kathleen is surrounded by people who love her and that she is secure and safe." Olivia said also getting a little choked up.

"She will always be loved and she will always be safe with me. And from now on she will always be protected." Jason replied quickly.

"Kathleen we have to go to the precinct later and we are going to need you to come down there. We need you to fill out some papers and make a couple statements and things like that. Do you want us to call you?"

"Can we do it later? Like tonight I just want to sleep. I don't want to do anything but sleep right now."

"That's fine honey you go sleep and we will make sure that everything is taken care of as much as we can. When you wake up Jason can call us and we can all go up to the precinct together."

Kathleen nodded, got up, and started to walk to her bedroom. "Thank you, for everything you have done Olivia."

Olivia got up from her seat. She walked over to Kathleen and wrapped her in a hug. "Baby there is nothing that you have to thank me for." Tears began to fall from Olivia's eyes. "I would never have let you go through any of that alone. I love you and you remember that."

Kathleen began to sob. "I love you too Olivia." She said through her tears.

"You go ahead and go to bed and I will see you later." Olivia said pulling away from the hug. She wiped her face and kissed Kathleen on her forehead.

XXX

The car ride home was brutal; Olivia knew that Elliot was angry that she lied to him. She also knew that he was going to explode.

The silence was finally too much for her. "Please if you are going to yell and explode I would like to take it now." She said breaking the ice.

Elliot just drove. He remained soundless.

"Elliot did you hear me? I know that you are pissed at me and you have every right to be. I am so sorry. I know that I deserve it. I really do."

Elliot just stared out the windshield. No movement. No sound.

"Elliot please…. Talk to me." Olivia pleaded.

Finally, she realized that Elliot wasn't going to talk to her. Tears filled her eyes. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction that it upset her. She turned and looked out the window. That's when she noticed that Elliot wasn't going home.

"Where are we going?" she questioned.

Still he just drove.

She gave up, she just waited.

_He would never hurt me…. I have nothing to be afraid of; I know I am safe. I just wish he would talk to me. Even if he yelled at me. Even if he told me he didn't want to be with me anymore. At least if that happened he would no longer be ignoring me. I take that back…. I couldn't handle him leaving me. What if because I lied to him about Kathleen he does leave me? Then what will I do? Maybe I am just over thinking this. I think that it will all be fine. _

Just then, Elliot parked the car. They were at a beach.

_Why are we here?_

"Get out!" he said angrily.

Olivia did as she was told. She opened the door and climbed out. She shut the door behind her and took a couple steps back.

Elliot just sat there in the car. It was still running.

_Great what is he going to do leave his pregnant fiancé? Alone? With no idea where I am? _

After a few minutes, Elliot shut the car off and climbed out, slamming the door behind him. He walked past Olivia and straight to the sand. Once there he just sat down and looked out at the water.

Olivia was confused. She didn't know whether she should go talk to him or let him think to himself for a while. She just watched from a distance.

The waves danced on the shore as if something from a movie it was incredible. If Elliot and her were talking this might be romantic. The sun was just rising. It was about 7:30 in the morning. She wanted to go snuggle with her soon to be husband, but she knew that there was going to be a fight. She knew that this was not what he brought her here for. She wasn't sure of the real reason but she knew that he didn't bring her here to watch the sunrise.

After about 15 minutes of letting him calm down she couldn't take it anymore. She walked over to him and sat down.

"Are we talking yet?" she asked.

"I'm sorry Olivia. I shouldn't have ignored you like that. I should have at least told you where we were going."

"I'm the one who should be sorry Elliot. I shouldn't have lied to you at the house. I should have told you that I had to take Kathleen to the hospital. But she told me that if I told you then she wouldn't go and I was more concerned about getting her there and getting the rape kit done than I was about anything else. I should have told you and I know that. I know that I should have been woman enough to tell you that your daughter needed help. But all that was running through my mind was I had to help her. She came to me. She asked me for help. I wanted to tell you Elliot. I wanted to let you know that she needed you but I had to get her seen before she changed her mind."

"Olivia, stop. I'm not mad at you. I don't want an explanation. I don't need you to tell me that you wanted to tell me. What I need is for you to follow your own damn rules. You said no secrets; that was your rule Olivia. And then you completely contradict yourself. When it is most important. I know why you did it. I do and it makes sense that you would. But Olivia that is my little girl. I have been there her entire life. And now she goes to you with this and tells you not to tell me. She told you not to tell me and that makes me more upset than the fact that you listened to her. I mean she was daddy's little girl. She is my everything. I just don't know what I would do without all of my kids. I would take a bullet for each and every one of them if it meant that they would be safe and happy for just 5 seconds. I don't know why she felt like she couldn't come to me with this. I mean this is not only my daughter but also my job. My job as a detective and my job as her father."

"Maybe that is the problem El. You put your job first."

He shot her a quick look. A look that she knew meant that it struck a nerve. Elliot had always been all about his children but he tries to be too much of a detective when dealing with his personal life.

"I didn't mean it like that Elliot. All I meant was that you don't deal with this stuff like a father you deal with it like a cop. She didn't need a cop today she needed a parent."

Elliot looked down at his hands. He knew she was right. He did act more like a cop with his personal life than he really should. He loved his kids so much that he just wanted them to be safe. And being a cop, he knew that they would be safe. And that was all he knew. That was all he wanted safety. And security. And he knew that he could provide that. He didn't want to be like his father and that is exactly what he was doing. Working all the time and not knowing how to be a father. Just a cop.

"All I ever wanted was for my kids to have the father I never had. I wanted them to be safe. I wanted them to have better than what I had." He said in a soft voice.

"And they already do." She said wrapping her arm around him and leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Liv. I love you." He wrapped his arm around her.

"I love you too. And I promise never to lie to you again."

Elliot looked at her sweet loving eyes, he couldn't be mad at her. He kissed her head and leaned his cheek against her head.

They looked out at the sunrise and waves bouncing on the shore.

"Why are we here?" Olivia said breaking the silence.

"This is where we were when I found out that Kathy was pregnant with Kathleen. We were here with Maureen. Watching her play. And that's when Kathy told me."

"She is still your baby Elliot. She is still that little girl that you held in the hospital. And the same little girl that you had to take to soccer practice. She is still the little girl that needs her daddy Elliot. She just doesn't want you to look at her different. She wants to be that little girl again."

"Why did she go to you? Why didn't she go to me or Kathy?" Elliot asked sadly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Olivia got defensive.

"I didn't mean it like that and you know it. I meant was it something that we did that made her not talk to us?"

"She needed someone who was going to listen to her, not feel sorry for her. And not to police her. But someone who would listen to her. And that is why she came to me. It wasn't because she doesn't love you. She loves you more than anything, Elliot you are her father. I believe that she came to the house to talk to you but when she seen you she got scared. I know that she would have told you I just think that she didn't want you to be disappointed in her. And I know how she feels. Think about it, it took me 5 years to tell you what happened to me. She was raped Elliot. That was scary enough but then to have to tell you…." Olivia stopped.

"What is so hard about talking to me?" Elliot asked exasperated.

"You are the only person who cared about me. You are the only one that I didn't want to find out that I wasn't as strong as I acted. I couldn't have lost you because I was weak I loved you too much. I know it doesn't make sense. But to me it made more sense to keep the strong bad ass Benson face, rather than the helpless and defenseless face. So that is what I did. And now I wish I would have told you. I wish I would have had your support through the whole thing. That is why I told her that it was important to tell you from the beginning. Elliot I know what it is like to go through it all alone. I mean I went and sought help but it would have been better if it was you. Casey was there. And she was wonderful through it all but it wasn't the same. I needed you. I wanted you. I loved you and I was afraid to tell you because you were still with Kathy. That is another thing I couldn't have told you and had you worried about me when you had Kathy and the kids you had to take care of and all the problems you were having. I wouldn't have done that to you. Elliot I don't think that you realized what I went through loving you while you were married. There were nights that I would cry because I wanted to be with you and you were at home with your wife. I couldn't handle it that is why I shut you out. That is why when all that stuff happened to me I couldn't tell you. I know what she is going through Elliot that is why I told her that it was important to tell you."

Elliot looked at his fiancé. He saw the sincerity in her eyes. The truth that she was telling. "You don't have to go through that anymore. You have me now. And I'm not going anywhere."

With that said, they sat there, watching the sunrise into the morning sky.

XXX

Elliot and Olivia walked into the squad room, and made their way to their desks. As soon as they sat down, Munch walked over and laid a piece of paper on Elliot's desk. Elliot picked it up and started reading it.

"Are you fuckin kidding me?" Elliot blurts out.

"What?" Olivia asked quickly.

"Which room?" Elliot asked completely ignoring Olivia.

"I can't tell you that Elliot. I just thought that I would let you know. Man to man. Friend to friend."

Elliot stood up, paper still in his hand. "John, please." Elliot pleaded. "Which room?"

"Benson, Stabler my office now," Don said stepping out of his office interrupting before Munch could answer.

Olivia and Elliot walk into Don's office and shut the door.

Don is sitting at his desk. His old and tired face looked sad and full of sympathy. "Sit down, please." He said motioning to the unoccupied seats in front of his desk.

They both did as was asked of them.

"I hope you both understand what kind of trouble I could get in for this," he started, "but given the situation I don't give a rat's ass. We found the guy."

Right away both Elliot and Olivia knew exactly what he was talking about.

"We have him in custody. Olivia, me and you will be doing the questioning. Fin and Munch will be in here with Elliot."

Right away Elliot interrupted, "captain,"

But Don didn't let him finish, "no Elliot!" he exclaimed. "Shut up and listen. Me and Olivia will be doing the questioning. You will be in here with Fin and Munch. If you so much as breathe out that doorway, I will see to it that you never carry a badge again. Do you understand me?"

"I don't care I will hand it to you now if that means I get three seconds in there with that asshole."

Elliot stood up and turned toward the door.

"Elliot sit down!" Don said raising his voice.

Elliot turned. "Don look, I know that this is hard for you to understand, you have never had to be put in this situation, but if you think that there is anyway in hell that I am going to let you and her go in there with that son of a bitch and not do a damn thing about it then you are sadly mistaken. I am going to go in there and I am going to kill that fuckin bastard. He raped my little girl. He took something from her that she will never get back. And now there he is nothing but a wall between us and you won't let me go in there. You won't let me protect my little girl. My baby. Don please let me go in there please."

"Elliot you have another child on the way, if you go in there you will come out in cuffs. You know it, I know it and Olivia knows it. Is that what you want for this baby? Do you want Olivia to do it on her own?"

Elliot took a deep breath.

"Elliot do you trust me?" Olivia asked standing and walking over to him. She grabbed his hands in her own.

He was breathing heavily trying to fight the tears that were rolling down his face.

"Baby do you trust me?" she asked squeezing his hands tight.

"With my life." He answered.

"Then let me go in there."

"I want to go in there. I want to be the one who makes this bastard pay. I want to do it."

"I know you do Elliot but if you go in there you will do something you will regret later in life and that is what we are trying to avoid."

"I don't care I want to go in there."

Olivia moved his hands to her belly. "That right there. That is why we don't want you to go in there. We know that you will not control yourself. Baby I don't want anything bad to happen and I know that it will if you go in there. Please let me handle it."

"Olivia, don't make this out like I want to go to jail. I don't want that, I just want that asshole in there brought to justice."

"And he will be. We caught him in the act, baby, he will not walk away from this. And when the DNA comes back we will have him for Kathleen too."

"Ok I will stay in here, but I will not be babysat." He said looking at Don.

"Elliot we are not going to have you babysat. As the arresting officers Fin and Munch need to watch the interrogation."

A/N: sorry that this is so late I know for as short as this chapter is I should have had it up in no time but life happens and when that occurs there is little that can be done I will try to update more regularly and make longer chapters….. up next is the interrogation…. How do you think that it will go….. well you know the drill reviews keep the story going….. thank you for reading and please review


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